Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Time for a break

I've decided to take a short break from blogging. I'm not sure how short or long of a break it will be. Probably just until we get back from Mexico.

It has really been a trying week on us. Satan is attacking us in a mighty way. We are trying our hardest to hold it together, but are in need of serious prayer. I know without a shadow of a doubt that this is confirmation for what lies ahead. God has something so unbelievably amazing planned for us. Otherwise, why would Satan be attacking us with such zeal?

See you when I'm back and refreshed! :o)

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Treasure Tuesday

When my mom was sick, she always wrapped herself up in this quilt. It was old, raggedy, and not that attractive. But it was warm, soft and comforting.

After she died, I let my adoptive mom have the quilt. She and my mom were like sisters and I knew she would care for it and respect it better than I could at the time. Every time I would go back home to Tulsa I got to snuggle up in my mom's quilt.

Until recently, that was the only time I could enjoy it.

When Sandy (my adoptive mommy) came down a few weekends ago to help me get things in order for this new way of life we're dealing with, she brought me a present.

My mom's quilt. Now, not only can I snuggle up with it, but my kids get to as well. It's the closest they can get to snuggling up with their Grandma Lynnie and the closest I get to snuggling up with my sweet momma.

Got treasure? Faith is the keeper of the Treasure Tuesday list.

Sunday, May 21, 2006

I have the best husband ever

Jake took it upon himself to book an emergency vacation for the two of us. Boy, do we ever need it?!

Monday morning we are flying to Mexico and staying in Playa del Carmen. I'll be calling this place home for the entirety of the week.

Thanks, Babe. You are THE BEST.

Now I'm off to try and find my birth certificate. YIKES!

Saturday, May 20, 2006

This is the one where I lay it all out there (well, most of it)

Okay, so if you read my blog very often, or if you've read anything in the past few weeks, you are probably aware of my latest drama. If not, go here and here and read those first. I'll wait.

All caught up? Good. Let's move forward.

So the last time I wrote about my seizure issues I had just come home from the hospital from being tortured (okay, "Evaluated") for a week.

I went to see my neurologist this past Monday for a follow-up in hopes of some answers. Instead, I left with more confusion and more questions. No one has any idea what in the heck is wrong with me. My highly-intelligent, used-to-be-head-of-a-seizure-department neurologist is "Stumped and intrigued" (his words) with my case. Thankfully, he wants nothing to do with playing the 'Medicine Game' with me and truly wants to figure out what's going on. For that, I truly respect and admire him.

This new medication I'm on is leaps and bounds better than the last, because I'm not all spacey and walking around like a zombie, BUT I'm extremely drowsy and I have no (I mean ZIP, zilcho, nadda!) energy or motivation to do anything.

Plus? I'm still having seizures!!!! *GRRR!* And it's really starting to freak me out / tick me off. Because, well.....I almost drowned in the bathtub on Tuesday.

Yeah, I'll give you a minute for the images to sink in of what could have very easily been the alternate outcome.

Monday night I had a seizure while I was sitting on the couch watching the Mavs kick some San Antonio tail on TV. Every other time I've seized, I could feel it coming on. This one hit me like a Mack truck and all I could get out to warn Jake was "Ja..." and then I was in a full-blown seizure.

Tuesday, as soon as Jake got home from work, I went into the bathroom to take a bath. Kale had gone across the street to play, Jake was cooking dinner, and I was grody and smelly from swimming all day, so I decided to relax in the tub.

Jake thought I had gone across to get Kale.

About 5 minutes later, the neighbor called my cell phone and Jake realized I wasn't over there. He came looking for me around the house and found me floating in a full bathtub with just my face sticking up out of the water completely unresponsive.

*Sitting here thinking about it, I can't help but have the images in my mind of my husband's face finding me or the thought of my sweet babies growing up without me.

I am not one to spill my guts with all of my junk. Mostly because I don't like to sound like I'm whining and I really hate the type of attention this kind of thing receives. I think I might explode if one more person asks me how I'm feeling or how sorry they are for me that I'm going through this. Well, I'm not sorry, to be completely honest. And I'm sorry if I sound brazen or harsh. But I know without a shadow of a doubt that I'm going through this for a reason and God never, ever, not once said life was without trials. People who have gone through life without adversity aren't exactly outstanding, interesting, inspiring people (I'm not saying I'm any of those things). I am just a girl that wants to look back on my life and be able to point out the exact moments God was orchestrating monumental, supernatural events that were completely beyond my control and so much bigger than me that I will never be able to comprehend their magnitude in this lifetime. This is probably going to be one of them. I don't know.

All that said, it doesn't mean I'm taking all of this in stride, because I'm not. I may look like I am and I may feed you some great lip service if you ask me how things are going, but it's all a bunch of crap. Mostly because I don't want to admit I have absolutely zero control over this.

I do not want to be the girl everyone feels sorry for or feels like they have to take care of. I am not a person that depends on others. I do not do drama!! It goes against everything in my being to be taken care of. I am the one who is always the care-taker. I have always been to one who could take care of herself when no one else would. I have always been the one people could go to when they needed help. (Seeing a pattern here?)

Obviously this is a huge lesson in pride for me, because I have a very hard time admitting that, without Christ, I am a worthless, wretched individual who couldn't do a darn thing for herself.

So I guess the point of this rant is two-fold.

1) I am going to humble myself for a moment and stop trying to be funny and sarcastic and portraying the "I have it all together" look to solicit your prayers. I need healing. Spiritual healing, Physical healing, and Mental healing. Because through all of this, my body, my brain and my spirit are all very tired. Exhausted, in fact. And my sweet, amazing husband is about to buckle from all of the pressure of added responsibilities due to my inability to perform my daily duties.

In addition to the healing process, I want to be aware of what God is trying to poor out of me; the junk He is trying to remove from my messed up little brain and replace with something Holy and worthy of praise.

2) Just get it all of my chest. I am not dealing well with my sudden loss of independence. To put it into perspective, if I don't have another seizure from right now (Please, God!) I will not be able to drive a vehicle again until Thanksgiving! No running to the store to pick up that one item I need to finish dinner, no running the boys to wrestling practice, no trips to Chic-fil-A for lunch and an ice cream to break up the day, no trips to the zoo or the movies this summer, no bible studies. None of that. I can't even schedule hair appointments during the week because I have to wait until the weekend so Jake can take me (when he'd much rather be playing golf with his friends or hanging out with us). All of my doctor's appointments? Jake has to take off work for every one of them. And? I can't even take a stinkin' bath or shower without putting it out on a flashing marque.

So after writing all of this down and going back to read it, this is the one thing that God is hitting me over the head with: "I am going to do something so amazing with this. Just wait. Just be still and wait."

So here I am...waiting. As joyfully as possible. Because there are women without husbands to take care of them with the abundant love and tenderness that Jake gives me. There are families who do not have health insurance, nor the means to pay for medical bills. There are people going through this without a love for the Lord to give them the peace of knowing that He has a plan for them; a plan to prosper them and not to harm them. There are people going through so much worse who do not have countless people concerned enough to care how they are feeling and who are committed to praying for their complete healing and recovery.

So I will consider myself blessed and be joyful in knowing that God has something phenomenal in store at the end of this rainy season. I'll be here waiting under my umbrella watching for a rainbow.

Friday, May 19, 2006

Can I get an Amen?

Said today on the phone by my funny friend, GiNelle. Well, ONE of the funny things she said. My brain couldn't remember everything she said.

In a Cajun, Louisiana accent: "Girl, my house is like the Bermuda Triangle. You turn around and something disappears and you never see it again."

How many of us can relate??

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

A tough one

Jeana tagged me for this as payback for tagging her on this one.

What is your favorite word? Definitely 'Chillax'.

What is your least favorite word? Laundry - I start twitching when I hear that word *shiver*

What turns you on spiritually, creatively, emotionally? Ummm...I'm with Jeana. I don't quite get this question either. I guess if I had to answer it would be the ability to hold firm to ones belief's and a firm, biblical foundation.

What turns you off? I'm with Jeana (again) ~ Copenhagen! Double Bleh!

What’s your favorite curse word? I used to make sailors' eyelashes curl, but I have since cleaned up my act. I do, however, have slip-ups. Generally it's a "Son of a...", well, you know the rest.

What sound or noise do you love to hear? The faint whimpers from Jake after I kick his sorry butt for pestering me while I'm trying to do something. When will he learn that it just doesn't pay to mess with me? And there is no hiding spot in the house I cannot find. And I'm NOT afraid to use the sprayer on the kitchen sink as he tries to flee the kitchen (unsuccessfully, I might add).

What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Teaching women how to dress for their body shape. I would do it for free. That's how much I love to do it.

What profession would you NOT like to do? I tried to think of something sarcastic and funny, but seriously? Prostitution. Dark and depressing, I know.

If Heaven exists (HELLO! What do you mean "IF"?), what would you like to hear God say at the pearly gates? Well done, good and faithful servant. (What He'll probably say: "How did YOU get in here?")

Susan, Stephanie and Kate, you're it!

I'm telling myself it's fat-free and organic and it will actually SHRINK the circumference of my butt/thighs/waist

I just stumbled on this recipe over at Something So Clever for Banana Butterscotch Cake. She always has the yummiest food stuffs on her site and I gain weight just reading her blog. But this? I am SO trying!

Care to come over for a slice and a cup of coffee? Come on in. The door's open! :o)

WFMW: Keeping The Kitchen Table Beautilicious

We have this mammoth, counter height table in our kitchen that we just bought last year. Our last table got destroyed by the kids, so I was determined to come up with a way to prevent that from happening again.

I went to Wal-Mart and bought enough place mats for each setting and let the kids pick out 5 or 6 Kid-Friendly place mats for them to use as well. The key here is that they can be tossed in the sink and wiped clean. I have all of the place mats as well as a stack of coasters in a drawer at the end of our island. When it's time to set the table for dinner, the kids pick out whatever place mat they are in the mood for as well as place mats for mom and dad and set the table. When dinner is over, the place mats get picked up with the plates and my table gets protected from crusted-on food from the kids. The best part is not having to wipe down the table every night after dinner (which is very hard on the wood).

There you have it! It Works For Me!

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

The Tale of Despereaux

My funny friend Lauren is our book club leader (when she's not performing harmonica solos) and is always recommending some seriously interesting books. While I was in the hospital she brought me the most Amazing Book Ever. And? Get this. It's not even for me! It's for me to read to my kiddos. Let me just say I've never had so much fun reading any other book to my kids.

Dear, sweet internet friends, if you have kids that you still read to, run and buy this book. It's a chapter book, thus no pictures, but it is so captivating that Kale (3-y.o.) screams for "MORE! MORE!" every night. And, of course, Jacob looooves it to the point of being willing to go to bed extra early every night so we can read more than our usual 2-3 chapters (they're short chapters).

It's written by the same author who wrote 'Because of Winn-Dixie' (which, by the way, I also read to the kids and they adored it), but it is SOOOOO much better.

Here is the Editorial Review:
Kate DiCamillo, author of the Newbery Honor book Because of Winn-Dixie, spins a tidy tale of mice and men where she explores the "powerful, wonderful, and ridiculous" nature of love, hope, and forgiveness. Her old-fashioned, somewhat dark story, narrated "Dear Reader"-style, begins "within the walls of a castle, with the birth of a mouse." Despereaux Tilling, the new baby mouse, is different from all other mice. Sadly, the romantic, unmouselike spirit that leads the unusually tiny, large-eared mouse to the foot of the human king and the beautiful Princess Pea ultimately causes him to be banished by his own father to the foul, rat-filled dungeon.
The first book of four tells Despereaux's sad story, where he falls deeply in love with Princess Pea and meets his cruel fate. The second book introduces another creature who differs from his peers--Chiaroscuro, a rat who instead of loving the darkness of his home in the dungeon, loves the light so much he ends up in the castle& in the queen's soup. The third book describes young Miggery Sow, a girl who has been "clouted" so many times that she has cauliflower ears. Still, all the slow-witted, hard-of-hearing Mig dreams of is wearing the crown of Princess Pea. The fourth book returns to the dungeon-bound Despereaux and connects the lives of mouse, rat, girl, and princess in a dramatic denouement.
Children whose hopes and dreams burn secretly within their hearts will relate to this cast of outsiders who desire what is said to be out of their reach and dare to break "never-to-be-broken rules of conduct." Timothy Basil Ering's pencil illustrations are stunning, reflecting DiCamillo's extensive light and darkness imagery as well as the sweet, fragile nature of the tiny mouse hero who lives happily ever after. (Ages 9 and older) --Karin Snelson --This text refers to the
Hardcover edition

The kids especially love it because it is filled with wildly interesting characters and I have given each one their own special voice. Despereaux's mother is French ~ she's their favorite. I guess I do a mean French accent because they giggle and roll around in their beds every time it's her turn to speak.

Go check it out. You won't be sorry! The Tale of Despereaux

Friday, May 12, 2006

Now I Know My ABC's, Won't You Come and Read With Me?

Carol tagged me on the ABC's of my life.

Edited**: OH NO! I forgot 'U'!! Thanks PEZmama, for pointing out how retarded I am. ;o)

Accent: I moved around too much to develop one, but I have picked up a bit of that good ole' Southern twang combined with Jake's Pittsburgh, PA phrases. I hate it wen I catch myself sounding like I'm from The 'Burgh. *shudder*

Bible Book that I like: Hands down Isaiah.

Chore I don't care for: UGH! ALL of them! But since I have to pick just one, I would say cleaning the bathroom. Girls who live in a houseful of males, can you feel me on this one?

Dog or Cat: Absolutely, without a doubt Dogs. I abhor cats. But the dog has to be a cool dog. Not one of those "Kick Me, Yip Yap" kind that make you want to slit your wrists if you have to listen to them yap ONE. MORE. TIME! (My grandmother has two of these that go EVERYWHERE with her. *snarl*)

Essential Electronics: Cell Phone and computer. I don't own an iPOD (GASP!), but I really, really, REALLY want one. (Hint *Jake* Hint).

Favorite Cologne: Chanel: Allure. I've been wearing it for years.

Gold or Silver: Either/or. But I DO NOT MIX THEM, (Carol!! I'm shocked!) That is a BIG Jewelry No, No! In fact, if I am wearing gold jewelry, I will not wear my wedding ring because it does not match. Call me anal.

Handbag I Carry Most Often: I switch them out all the time, but the one I carry the most is one I got from Anthropology. It's BEU. TEE. FULL! (I must have this!)

Insomnia: Unfortunately, yes. It's in the genes. My mom, grandma, and every other female on that side of the family are all night owls.

Job Title: I've had so many! At the moment, it's wife and mom. We'll see what God has in store later on down the road. But for now, I'm totally digging what I'm doing.

Kids: Two boys, ages 6 and 3

Living Arrangements: Hunky Husband, two crazy boys, two ginormous dogs living in Suburban Wonderland in a home I never in my wildest dreams thought I'd be living in.

Most Admirable Trait: That's a tough one. I'm my own worst critic. I guess it would be my fabulous sense of humor. *wink*

Naughtiest Childhood Behavior: My mom raised me vegetarian and I got forced into taking a fist full of huge, nasty, stinky vitamins every morning. In an attempt to not take them, I would wait for my mom to leave the kitchen and drop them either down the drain or in my tall glass of ice-cold goats milk. MMMM! To this day I can not take vitamins or large pills that have an odor. During my pregnancies, my doctor had to prescribe me chewable prenatal vitamins.

Overnight Hospital Stays: Bleh! Can we just skip this letter? Two eye surgeries when I was a kid, two births, and, most recently, two week-long stints for my "Shaky Situation".

Phobias: Being in the dark anywhere near a wooded area. My Aunt lives in the country in Missouri and her house is surrounded by trees. I CAN NOT go outside of her house at night alone without my hair standing up on the back of my neck.

Quote: "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." -Eleanor Roosevelt

Religion: I'm with Carol. I'm a Christian, but I put zero stock in religion. It's all about the relationship with Jesus, Baby!

Siblings: I was raised an only child, but my dad remarried when I was a kid and I have a half-brother and two half-sisters that I absolutely adore.

Time I Wake Up: Wake up? Around 6:30. Actually get my butt out of the bed? Around 7:45.

Unusual Talent or Skill: I have two. 1) I can do a spot-on impersonation of "Goat Boy" from SNL. It freaks Jake out, thus requiring me to do it for him as often as possible. 2) I can balance a full beer pitcher on my head while hula-hooping. For a short period of time (while business was slow) I had paddle-balling included in this. But, alas, business picked up and I could no longer keep up my paddle-balling expertise.

Vegetable I Refuse to Eat: As I mentioned, I was raised vegetarian, so I love, love, love my veggies and I don't refuse to eat any of them. I'm not real hot on radishes or beets, though.

Worst Habit: Let's just say I am gross. So the bad habits are never-ending here. I will not divulge any of them because I know you will never look at me the same again and I don't think I can handle that kind of rejection.

X-rays: 1) Right elbow: broke it on the ice during practice (collided with another skater) when I was 13 (I used to be a competitive figure skater). 2) Left middle and ring fingers: a boy in my history class broke them after I slapped him in the face for pinching me on the butt in 6th grade. He later became my boyfriend when we were Juniors in high school. I had great taste in men. 3) Lots of back x-rays for my countless back injuries caused by years of skating. 4) Left foot last summer for a broken foot (not sure how I broke it. It was more of a stress fracture). 5) Most recently, well, you know the story.

Yummy Stuff I Cook: MMM! I love to cook! I guess my best stuff would be my NNO Pasta dish, my Italian Roast Beef, and I make a MEAN batch of fresh pico and guac. So good it'll make you want to slap yer momma!

Zoo Animal I Like Most: The orangutans! I love watching them climb all over and be mischievous. As far as favorite animal (non-zoo) it would have to be the giraffe. What a beautiful being with those long necks!

There you have it! I'm tagging Leslie, Shelly and Jeana.

Thursday, May 11, 2006

I Blog, Therefore I am....A Blogging Chick

I've just signed up to be on Blogging Chicks! WooHoo!

Go check it out and sign up too! All the cool, hip, bloggin' mommas are doin' it.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Works for Me Wednesday: It just LOOKS like I've been slaving over the stove all day

While trying to cope with medicine that makes me groggy and keep up with a big house, kids, chores, etc., I'm pretty notorious with Jake for not knowing what's for 6:00pm. Because, well, all I really want to do is this.

So here's what works for me. (This works for me really well, also, by the way.)

On Sundays I take all of the meats that we will be eating for the week, throw them in a big zippy bag with my marinade of choice and toss it in the fridge. If I'm feeling extremely "I don't feel like cooking today" that day, I toss the meat in my crock pot with the new super-cool throw-away liners and "Voila!" Dinner is served!

No fuss, no muss, and no disgusting crock pot mess to clean up!

Hey! It works for me!!

Does the old addage "Birds of a feather flock together" ALWAYS have to ring true?

Just for fun during my second night in the hospital, my doctor ordered that I be sleep deprived to try and tax my brain and induce a seizure. I think they were just in serious need of someone to make fun of on the other side of the cameras (they were monitoring me by video and audio 24/7). To help keep me awake, they encouraged me to invite my friends to sit with me through the night.

The hospital staff had no idea what they were getting themselves into. Clearly they have never met my friends.

Who keeps a harmonica in their purse, anyway? Apparantly, my friend, Lauren does.

This is just a taste of our middle-of-the-night antics.

Friday, May 05, 2006

I'm back from my week-long stay at "The Spa"

That's what I'm calling it, anyway.

I went to my scheduled appointment with the Neurologist on Monday afternoon too see what kind of insight he could give us on these crazy seizures I've been having. After explaining that I was still having seizures even though I was on a very high dose of Anti-Seizure medication (seriously - I was a walking zombie), he opted for me to be placed into the hospital immediately for a week of observation and taken off my meds (WOO HOO!).

My reaction? Blank stare and "You want to put wires in my head? For a WEEK!? But no kids, or house work? Okay, I'm game!"

So I've been hooked up to an EEG machine all week and have been put through two nights of sleep deprivation, forced hyperventilation, and had a strobe light flashed in my face for several minutes. What FUN!! :o) But all of my sweet friends visited me every day and we had a big ole' party Tuesday night to help me stay awake.

It was all worth it because, once again, I got to share Jesus with the people taking care of me and I have now convinced a Pakistani gentleman to come with us to church this weekend with his wife and 2-year-old son. What's even better? They are Hindu! But after watching me and my friends all week and being able to witness to him, he is 'intrigued' (as he put it) about this "Christian life I'm living" and this dude, Jesus that we seem to be so in love with.


I have LOTS of hilarious stories (did you expect less from me?) and even more funny pictures (I was stuck in a bed for a week. alone. with a camera.) that I will be posting later.

Until then, it's great to be home!