Calling All Bible Scholars!!

I couldn't sleep tonight. Well, really GOD would not ALLOW me to sleep tonight because He kept poking at me and stirring some questions up in me so I would have no other choice but to drag my butt out of bed and go read His Word for the answers. But instead of answers, I just got more questions!!

And Ya'll, my head hurts from trying to figure it out, so I'm calling on you, Sweet Internet Friends, to help me answer the following question because, HELLO!, it's 2:45am and I have kids that do not care that I was up pondering scripture in the wee hours of the morning, they just want breakfast!

But first you have to read the verse that made my head split open and caused my brain to fall kersplat onto my freshly mopped floor.

Luke 19: 11-27

The Parable of the 10 Servants

11 The crowd was listening to everything Jesus said. And because he was
nearing Jerusalem, he told them a story to correct the impression that the
Kingdom of God would begin right away. 12 He said, “A nobleman was called away
to a distant empire to be crowned king and then return. 13 Before he left, he
called together ten of his servants and divided among them ten pounds of
silver,[b] saying, ‘Invest this for me while I am gone.’ 14 But his people hated
him and sent a delegation after him to say, ‘We do not want him to be our king.’
15 “After he was crowned king, he returned and called in the servants to
whom he had given the money. He wanted to find out what their profits were. 16
The first servant reported, ‘Master, I invested your money and made ten times
the original amount!’ 17 “‘Well done!’ the king exclaimed. ‘You are a good
servant. You have been faithful with the little I entrusted to you, so you will
be governor of ten cities as your reward.’ 18 “The next servant reported,
‘Master, I invested your money and made five times the original amount.’
19 “‘Well done!’ the king said. ‘You will be governor over five cities.’
20 “But the third servant brought back only the original amount of money
and said, ‘Master, I hid your money and kept it safe. 21 I was afraid because
you are a hard man to deal with, taking what isn’t yours and harvesting crops
you didn’t plant.’ 22 “‘You wicked servant!’ the king roared. ‘Your own
words condemn you. If you knew that I’m a hard man who takes what isn’t mine and
harvests crops I didn’t plant, 23 why didn’t you deposit my money in the bank?
At least I could have gotten some interest on it.’ 24 “Then, turning to
the others standing nearby, the king ordered, ‘Take the money from this servant,
and give it to the one who has ten pounds.’ 25 “‘But, master,’ they said,
‘he already has ten pounds!’ 26 “‘Yes,’ the king replied, ‘and to those
who use well what they are given, even more will be given. But from those who do
nothing, even what little they have will be taken away. 27 And as for these
enemies of mine who didn’t want me to be their king—bring them in and execute them right here in front of me.’ (emphasis mine)



So here's the question:What in Sam Hill does verse 27 mean?? Please OH PLEASE would someone explain it to me? Because I really don't think it means that Jesus wants us to walk up to Him and execute people right in front of Him "in His name", so to speak. And if that's what it means, I'm a little troubled by it because it would seem to contradict everything else He taught us.



Someone please come to my rescue before I pop a blood vessel in my brain.

Hand Me Your Milk and Get Back A Milk Shake

Nearly two years ago I was diagnosed with Epilepsy. Through tons of failed medication, lots of trips to the doctor, weeks at a time hooked up to wires trying to figure out what was wrong with me, I finally decided to step out on faith and just accept that God was going to heal me. And He did. For a year-and-a-half I was seizure-free and felt great.

About two months ago they came back and came back with a vengeance. My seizures went from being Complex Partial seizures to Grand Mal seizures. Do I think my healing wasn't real? Absolutely not. I still know that I am in the sweet spot of God's hands and He has already taken care of this whole situation. But here is my dilemma: I don't want to go back to the doctor. Not out of stubbornness or fear, but mainly because the last go-round proved what I had always suspected; that doctors are really just playing a huge guessing game and I was their guinea pig. Through all of the testing, anti-seizure medication, etc., I was still being plagued with seizures. All the medication did was make me numb, dumb, and took away my ability to feel them coming on.

I have kept my condition a secret for a while. My friends and family didn't know anything until just recently. I hated how everyone looked at me with pity before and it seemed like my health was the only thing anyone ever wanted to talk about and the thought of going through all of that again made my stomach churn. Plus, I hate the unsolicited advice, no matter how sincere it may be. As soon as I tell people that my seizures have returned I get barked at to go to the doctor. I know it's because they care about me and want the best, but I'm not being stupid and I'm not going to risk my safety. This is a decision that has to be between me and God and I'm at total peace with that.

So here's the question:

How do I convince my friends and family to just pray for me and have it stop there? How do I get them to NOT look at me with pity? How do I convince them that I know what I'm doing? How do I get them to understand this whole faith decision? Or do I not bother at trying to convince anyone of anything? Because it's seeming like a big fat waste of breath and energy.

You tell me.

Hello, Old Friend

I highly doubt any of my old readers have kept me on their Bloglines subscriptions, and I'm pretty sure the rest of my old readers stopped checking in a long time ago to see if I had posted anything new. As you can see, it has been an entire year since my last post and BOY! has a lot happened in that year!

God is bringing me on a journey that is both exciting as well as petrifying. I was apparently a little too content and comfortable in my little world, so He thought I needed a little shake-up to make things a bit more exciting.

We were swindled out of a ton of money by my husband's old boss at the end of last year, and from there we have sort of been swirling the drain. At first it looked like things would be fine, but as time went on, we realized that swirling seemed to be getting faster and faster and we were about to go under.

In the past few weeks I have had to sell my beautiful car, we have had to put our dream home on the market, and now we are trying to figure out where in the world God is taking us next. At this point, I'm up for anything! He has managed to humble me to the point that none of the things I found so important before hold ANY importance now. I'm without a car, but I don't seem to care. I'm about to have to give up my dream home, but instead of being devastated, I'm excited to see where God is going to take me. 6 months ago I would have thought it was the end of the world and wondering what I had done wrong, but now I realize that He is bringing me to my knees so I will be focused solely on HIM. Not my house, not what's in fashion, not what kind of car I'm driving. Just Him.

So here I am, God! Bring on the change!!!

We Wanna Meet 2006 - Pictures!!

So, remember that little weekend shindig I attended, oh...6 weeks ago? Well, I'm sure you think I have forgotten it since I've turned into a total Slacker Blogger. BUT! Lo and behold, here are the long-awaited photos from the oh-so-eventful weekend.

Enjoy!!!

Click here to see the entire set

[Insert Witty and Remarkable Title] because after seeing this I am at a total loss for words

Think your house is in disarray? Feel like it's a "Pig Sty" because you have some dishes in the sink and a few loads of laundry piled up?

Then feast your eyes upon this atrocity, my dear Friendternets, and feel ashamed no more.

------------------------------------------------

**I had a fabulous post written covering all of the great fun we had last weekend, but Blogger seems to hate my guts and my post was lost. I'll try again after I regain my composure. Or after a few stiff margaritas. Whichever comes first.

WHEW!

Okay, so I promised a post covering any and all details from our fabulous Bloggity Weekend Get-together like, what, a week ago? But life happened, y'all, and I'm just sitting down at the computer for the first time in 6 days, so please love me through my tardiness and easily-distracted behavior.

I had every intension of posting all of my wonderful memories last Wednesday, but I decided to instead start painting my drab, white office. It is beautilicious, my friends, in all of it's pumpkiny goodness. Makes me hungry for pie. And equally happy that I can sit in my office and not feel like I'm in an institution.














Then the plan was to wake up early Thursday morning, finish painting and work on my post, until I glanced through Jacob's school binder and found a note thanking me for chaperoning their field trip. THAT DAY! I arrived frazzled and thrown together only to find out one of the kids placed in my care was the fastest talking little girl this side of the hemisphere. Don't believe me? Watch the following. But grab some Advil first.



Wow. Head spinning? That was just 30 seconds of what I endured for over 5 hours. God definitely has a twisted sense of humor FOR SURE!

So, long story long, I've been super busy. I will be working on my We Wanna Meet post RIGHT NOW for your reading enjoyment. I PROMISE!!!!!!

(Unless I get distracted again)

We Wanna Meet - Stories and Pictures coming soon!

I have SO MANY stories to tell about my awesome weekend with the girls at We Wanna Meet (along with a ton of incriminating pictures), but today is Halloween, laundry day, and grocery shopping day, so I promise I will have a full synopsis of my weekend tomorrow! Check back then!

Cue The Pointer Sisters

I'm so excited! And I just can't hide it! I'm about to lose control and I think I like it ~ OH YEAH!

Just Four more hours until I'm stuffing my face with food and then spitting it back out from laughing while I hang with some of the coolest chicks in all of Bloggetyville at this!

I'm sure we'll all be blogging in our heads the entire weekend. I can't wait to see how big of a fool I make of myself! Would you expect any less out of me?

A New Blogger in Da House!!

My very good friend, Erica (whom I just reconnected with after a million years) (is it 'who' or 'whom'?) just started her very own blog! (After I held a gun to her dog's head and demanded gently encouraged her to start one)

So go read her first few posts and keep going back to read her unbelievably awesome story (the one that she will be sharing very soon - AHEM!).

And be sure to smother her in bloggity love and let her know you stopped by!!!

**End of shameless plug. More witty sarcasm and disgusting stories coming soon.**

You might be a Redneck if...

If you've been reading my wildly entertaining and witty little blog for very long (please know that statement is drenched in sarcasm), then you know I come from....how should I put this....a long line of Hillbillies. Trailer Park dwellers. Country Folk. Good 'ole Boys.

You get the picture.

As mightily as I've tried to instill The Ways of the Suburban Yuppie into my children, giving them nary a glimpse of living in the sticks, only having neighbors with 5 teeth, and having a driveway consisting of dirt and potholes (that you should NOT drive down after a rain storm if you plan to leave again before the ground dries), somehow they have still managed to show off their hillbilly roots.

Kale more blatantly than anyone, what with his constant urges to drop trow on our front porch and pee into the yard. While traffic drives by. Did I mention our house is at the end of a cul-de-sac that butts up to the main road in our neighborhood? Or that we live directly next door to the school? And that he does this while he waits for Jacob to get home? And that all of the super-uptight moms that actually walk to the school to pick up their kids instead of stay home and watch t.v. see him and almost pass flat out behind their double jogging strollers and land on their velvet-jogging suit-clad behinds?

What was I saying? Oh yes... My Jeff Foxworthy-aspiring son.

The other night as I stood in my kitchen cookin' supper barefoot preparing the evening meal, Kale ran around shoeless and shirtless with fudgesicle and snot dried on his face played contently in our backyard on the kids' swing set/fort thingy. *What DO you call those monster, wood contraptions every backyard in suburbia has towering over our nicely stained privacy fences?

Anywho, he was playing in the backyard, I was cooking, and The Two Jakes were at wrestling practice. After they got home, I called Kale in for dinner.

During dinner, the following conversation ensued:

Kale (excitement oozing out of every fiber in his body): "Guess what!?"

Me: "You want to grow up to be a bazillionaire and buy your mom and dad a house in Italy and support my shopping hobby for the remainder of my years." (Hey. A girl can dream, can't she? I have an undying love for Italian shoes like any self-respecting fashionista.)

Kale (with a VERY proud grin plastered across his face): "I pooped in the back yard!"

(I swear I'm not making this up)

Jake and I in unison: "You did WHAT!?"

Jake (with me laughing uncontrollably under the table while he glared at me in disdain because he blames me for our boys' love of bathroom humor.) (Come on, it's FUNNY!!!!): "Well did you clean it up?"

Me (still snickering and giggling like the mature adult I am): "Dude. It's dark outside. Besides - how are we supposed to decipher dog poop from kid poop?"

Kale: "That's okay. The dogs ate it anyway." Followed by a big, satisfying belly laugh.

(GAG!!!!!!!!!!)

Yes, people. That's right. Hillbilly IS genetic. No matter how hard you try to keep it from rearing it's toothless, mullet-laden head, there's no use in fighting it.

I'm pretty sure it's just a matter of time for him to clear out the sink before he pees in it.

And what a proud Momma I'll be on that day. Because it will mean he is not doing it on the front lawn.

Product Review: O-Cel-O Scrub & Wipe Sponges

In my house we go through many 'o sponges due to the countless cheesy, egg-y dishes I scrub clean, the ginourmous counters I have to wipe down daily, plus all of the other surfaces requiring a squeaky clean shine.

Yesterday I waltzed into my beloved neighborhood Super Target to purchase dinner items and, yet again, replacement sponges for the kitchen. For years I have used Scotch brand No-Scratch blue sponges for my kitchen cleaning, but I have to replace them constantly.

Upon searching for my normal sponge selections, what do my wondering eyes should appear, but a colorful and lovely new invention that made my heart skip a beat and made me weak in the knees.

Behold, Dear Friendternets, the O-Cel-O Scrub and Wipe Sponges! They are two-sided with the first side consisting of a scratchy surface, only this time it's made of vinyl and rubber making it RINSE CLEAN after you scrub melted cheese off of pans or caked-on eggs off of your favorite skillet. The opposite side is made of a soft, plushy wash cloth fabric enabling me to wipe down my granite counters and leave them beautilicious and streak-free. Did I mention the fact that they RINSE CLEAN and don't hold on to yucky food gunk??

Since purchasing the first one to test, I have now returned to purchase 4 more to place around the house in all of the bathrooms. This is how much I love me some Scrub & Wipe Sponges! Now GO! Put them on your shopping list! You'll thank me for it. And I'll be thanking 3M for coming up with yet another ingenious product that I can not live without, with the Post-It being on the very top of that list.

"Come in Planet Flip-Flop, we are ready to land!!"

Brain Dump

Okay, so I've been a HUGE Bloggy Slacker for the past, oh, several months. Especially these past several weeks. But I have been BUSY y'all! And when I haven't been running around like a chicken with my head cut off, I haven't really had anything profound to write about. Today is no exception, but you're getting a post from me anyway. So here's what's on this little mind of mine:

• Jake has been working out of town in Kansas for the past 2 weeks and will not be back until this weekend. He did make it home for a few days this past weekend for a VERY important event (you'll see in a minute) and left again this morning before the sun even came out. All I have to say is my appreciation for my mother and all other single moms, military moms, and moms who's husbands travel has skyrocketed. I always knew it was hard on my mom raising me alone, but I had NO IDEA how hard it truly is to be the only parent 24-hours a day. And I'm not even trying to juggle a job and go to school while doing this Mom Thing! Last night was my very first time to be truly alone, and that only lasted about 20 minutes while Jake took the boys with him to go grab a bag of potatoes from the store. I am SO READY for a break!

• As some of you know, Jacob prayed this past summer at Kid's Camp for Jesus to take up permanent residence in his heart. Well, on Saturday he made his faith public by getting baptised! WOO HOO! It was one of the greatest moments of my life. I got to actually witness my baby boy being Born Again. Words can not describe. I got some great pictures and video that I'll post later.

• In regards to my last post on my indecision of whether to go Mac or PC on my next computer, I am really leaning towards Mac. There are several reasons, but the biggest ones being that Macs aren't susceptible to viruses, adware, and other yucky stuff I don't want creeping on my computer. Plus, I can do WAAAAY cooler stuff on a Mac. BUT! My final decision still hasn't been made. I still may end up getting a "Dell, Dude!". Honestly, anything is better than this piece of you-know-what I'm working with now. So for all of you that gave me some really great pros and cons on both, THANK YOU! Because Lord knows I am NOT technically gifted.

• After struggling to keep my house in order for the past year (and failing MISERABLY, I might add), I decided to finally try out "The Ladies". The Ladies are here right now and I can't begin to describe my love for them. Before they came over I was in a tizzy grabbing any and all clutter, random blankets laying across couches, papers laying all over any flat surface, and what seemed to be my entire shoe collection strewn across the house (but in reality it was only a small fraction) and just threw it all into my big 'ole bedroom closet. I thought "Oh, they'll never clean my closet". Well, I was wrong. Dead wrong, my friends. I went into my bedroom to find my closet, my bathroom, by bedroom all SPOTLESS and Picture Perfect!! They had taken every blanket and folded it neatly in a nice pile in the closet, lined up every pair of shoes, neatly stacked any and all random papers laying about, and hung up all of my clothes that were haphazardly draped over my clothes rod. I am officially The Ladies Fan Club President and I will be offering to pay them double what they quoted me simply for the amount of hair they have prevented me from pulling out of my head over the stress of trying to keep up with this monster house. Do you think they might find it offensive if I try to give them a big, huge hug before they leave?

• I'm currently reading A Woman After God's Own Heart by Elizabeth George for a Women's-Only bible Study at church. I've heard about and seen this book eleventy-million times before, but always shrugged it off as another one of those "feel good" books. OH MY GOODNESS was I wrong! I love her writing style and her amazing view of scripture, not to mention her ingenious allegories. I highly recommend picking this up. You'll be glad you did.

• I realized this morning that out of the past, oh, 14 days, I have not worn a baseball cap for 4 of them. This is a big no-no in my personal appearance handbook. But I have been either too lazy or too busy to actually take the whole five minutes out of my morning to fix my hair. Seriously, y'all. It only takes me five minutes to fix it, yet I haven't mustered up the energy to do it. What's next? Not brushing my teeth? This is going against every moral fiber in my body that says I MUST be put together when I leave the house. But I've been telling myself it's okay because I make sure to wear some sassy earrings and slap on some lip gloss before I walk out the door donning my grungy baseball cap for the 6th day in a row. I need my husband back home. I'm turning into the Frumpy Housewife I swore I'd never become. I've realized he is my only motivation to look like I give a hoot about my appearance. So, Jake, get back home already so I can have a reason to look cute again!!! (And so I can smooch you.)

That's all that's rattling around in this pea brain of mine. I promise to come up with something a little more profound next time. Or not. We'll see. I'm off to sit and gaze at my spotless shower doors and roll around on the pretty carpet that I haven't seen in months and almost forgot existed.

HELP!

I have a dilemma and I am turning to you, my dear friendternets, to help me solve said dilemma in an effort to prevent my head from exploding.

I have a VERY old computer. As in 'it was brand new EIGHT YEARS AGO' old. Needless to say it has paid it's dues and it is SCREAMING at me to put it into retirement (while I am screaming right back at it at least 100 times a day when it decides it's going to be fickle and just shut down for NO. APPARENNT. REASON. *GRRR!* ).

I know I want a laptop so I'm not tied down to being in my office. But here is where my little dilemma comes in: Should I go MAC or PC?

Jake is a die-hard Dell guy, but I'm totally open to what would be the best fit for me.

I only need it for my bloggity pleasure, being able to actually download music (which I have never been able to do on this piece of poo), and doing pretty things with pictures, video and such, BUT! I still have a need for those pesky spreadsheets on an almost-daily basis.

So you tell me: Which version have you found to be better and more cost-effective? I'm begging you - help a girl out, pretty, pretty please with sugar on top!

Check it out!

Check out the new 'do, courtesy of the oh-so-fabulous Karen! I guess you could say it's a bit, ummmm, RED! Hey, a girl's gotta have a hobby. Mine just happens to be a hair hobby.

Just promise me you guys will still let me come to the We Wanna Meet shin-dig in October. ;o)