Minnie Moments

Calling All Bible Scholars!!

2007-12-11T02:24:00.001-06:00

I couldn't sleep tonight. Well, really GOD would not ALLOW me to sleep tonight because He kept poking at me and stirring some questions up in me so I would have no other choice but to drag my butt out of bed and go read His Word for the answers. But instead of answers, I just got more questions!!

And Ya'll, my head hurts from trying to figure it out, so I'm calling on you, Sweet Internet Friends, to help me answer the following question because, HELLO!, it's 2:45am and I have kids that do not care that I was up pondering scripture in the wee hours of the morning, they just want breakfast!

But first you have to read the verse that made my head split open and caused my brain to fall kersplat onto my freshly mopped floor.

Luke 19: 11-27

The Parable of the 10 Servants

11 The crowd was listening to everything Jesus said. And because he was
nearing Jerusalem, he told them a story to correct the impression that the
Kingdom of God would begin right away. 12 He said, “A nobleman was called away
to a distant empire to be crowned king and then return. 13 Before he left, he
called together ten of his servants and divided among them ten pounds of
silver,[b] saying, ‘Invest this for me while I am gone.’ 14 But his people hated
him and sent a delegation after him to say, ‘We do not want him to be our king.’
15 “After he was crowned king, he returned and called in the servants to
whom he had given the money. He wanted to find out what their profits were. 16
The first servant reported, ‘Master, I invested your money and made ten times
the original amount!’ 17 “‘Well done!’ the king exclaimed. ‘You are a good
servant. You have been faithful with the little I entrusted to you, so you will
be governor of ten cities as your reward.’ 18 “The next servant reported,
‘Master, I invested your money and made five times the original amount.’
19 “‘Well done!’ the king said. ‘You will be governor over five cities.’
20 “But the third servant brought back only the original amount of money
and said, ‘Master, I hid your money and kept it safe. 21 I was afraid because
you are a hard man to deal with, taking what isn’t yours and harvesting crops
you didn’t plant.’ 22 “‘You wicked servant!’ the king roared. ‘Your own
words condemn you. If you knew that I’m a hard man who takes what isn’t mine and
harvests crops I didn’t plant, 23 why didn’t you deposit my money in the bank?
At least I could have gotten some interest on it.’ 24 “Then, turning to
the others standing nearby, the king ordered, ‘Take the money from this servant,
and give it to the one who has ten pounds.’ 25 “‘But, master,’ they said,
‘he already has ten pounds!’ 26 “‘Yes,’ the king replied, ‘and to those
who use well what they are given, even more will be given. But from those who do
nothing, even what little they have will be taken away. 27 And as for these
enemies of mine who didn’t want me to be their king—bring them in and execute them right here in front of me.’ (emphasis mine)

So here's the question:What in Sam Hill does verse 27 mean?? Please OH PLEASE would someone explain it to me? Because I really don't think it means that Jesus wants us to walk up to Him and execute people right in front of Him "in His name", so to speak. And if that's what it means, I'm a little troubled by it because it would seem to contradict everything else He taught us.

Someone please come to my rescue before I pop a blood vessel in my brain.

Hand Me Your Milk and Get Back A Milk Shake

2007-11-27T10:25:00.000-06:00

Nearly two years ago I was diagnosed with Epilepsy. Through tons of failed medication, lots of trips to the doctor, weeks at a time hooked up to wires trying to figure out what was wrong with me, I finally decided to step out on faith and just accept that God was going to heal me. And He did. For a year-and-a-half I was seizure-free and felt great.

About two months ago they came back and came back with a vengeance. My seizures went from being Complex Partial seizures to Grand Mal seizures. Do I think my healing wasn't real? Absolutely not. I still know that I am in the sweet spot of God's hands and He has already taken care of this whole situation. But here is my dilemma: I don't want to go back to the doctor. Not out of stubbornness or fear, but mainly because the last go-round proved what I had always suspected; that doctors are really just playing a huge guessing game and I was their guinea pig. Through all of the testing, anti-seizure medication, etc., I was still being plagued with seizures. All the medication did was make me numb, dumb, and took away my ability to feel them coming on.

I have kept my condition a secret for a while. My friends and family didn't know anything until just recently. I hated how everyone looked at me with pity before and it seemed like my health was the only thing anyone ever wanted to talk about and the thought of going through all of that again made my stomach churn. Plus, I hate the unsolicited advice, no matter how sincere it may be. As soon as I tell people that my seizures have returned I get barked at to go to the doctor. I know it's because they care about me and want the best, but I'm not being stupid and I'm not going to risk my safety. This is a decision that has to be between me and God and I'm at total peace with that.

So here's the question:

How do I convince my friends and family to just pray for me and have it stop there? How do I get them to NOT look at me with pity? How do I convince them that I know what I'm doing? How do I get them to understand this whole faith decision? Or do I not bother at trying to convince anyone of anything? Because it's seeming like a big fat waste of breath and energy.

You tell me.

Hello, Old Friend

2007-11-09T13:03:00.000-06:00

I highly doubt any of my old readers have kept me on their Bloglines subscriptions, and I'm pretty sure the rest of my old readers stopped checking in a long time ago to see if I had posted anything new. As you can see, it has been an entire year since my last post and BOY! has a lot happened in that year!

God is bringing me on a journey that is both exciting as well as petrifying. I was apparently a little too content and comfortable in my little world, so He thought I needed a little shake-up to make things a bit more exciting.

We were swindled out of a ton of money by my husband's old boss at the end of last year, and from there we have sort of been swirling the drain. At first it looked like things would be fine, but as time went on, we realized that swirling seemed to be getting faster and faster and we were about to go under.

In the past few weeks I have had to sell my beautiful car, we have had to put our dream home on the market, and now we are trying to figure out where in the world God is taking us next. At this point, I'm up for anything! He has managed to humble me to the point that none of the things I found so important before hold ANY importance now. I'm without a car, but I don't seem to care. I'm about to have to give up my dream home, but instead of being devastated, I'm excited to see where God is going to take me. 6 months ago I would have thought it was the end of the world and wondering what I had done wrong, but now I realize that He is bringing me to my knees so I will be focused solely on HIM. Not my house, not what's in fashion, not what kind of car I'm driving. Just Him.

So here I am, God! Bring on the change!!!

We Wanna Meet 2006 - Pictures!!

2006-12-06T12:46:00.000-06:00

So, remember that little weekend shindig I attended, oh...6 weeks ago? Well, I'm sure you think I have forgotten it since I've turned into a total Slacker Blogger. BUT! Lo and behold, here are the long-awaited photos from the oh-so-eventful weekend.

Enjoy!!!

Click here to see the entire set

[Insert Witty and Remarkable Title] because after seeing this I am at a total loss for words

2006-11-08T00:35:00.000-06:00

Think your house is in disarray? Feel like it's a "Pig Sty" because you have some dishes in the sink and a few loads of laundry piled up?

Then feast your eyes upon this atrocity, my dear Friendternets, and feel ashamed no more.

------------------------------------------------

**I had a fabulous post written covering all of the great fun we had last weekend, but Blogger seems to hate my guts and my post was lost. I'll try again after I regain my composure. Or after a few stiff margaritas. Whichever comes first.

WHEW!

2006-11-05T20:10:00.001-06:00

Okay, so I promised a post covering any and all details from our fabulous Bloggity Weekend Get-together like, what, a week ago? But life happened, y'all, and I'm just sitting down at the computer for the first time in 6 days, so please love me through my tardiness and easily-distracted behavior.

I had every intension of posting all of my wonderful memories last Wednesday, but I decided to instead start painting my drab, white office. It is beautilicious, my friends, in all of it's pumpkiny goodness. Makes me hungry for pie. And equally happy that I can sit in my office and not feel like I'm in an institution.

Then the plan was to wake up early Thursday morning, finish painting and work on my post, until I glanced through Jacob's school binder and found a note thanking me for chaperoning their field trip. THAT DAY! I arrived frazzled and thrown together only to find out one of the kids placed in my care was the fastest talking little girl this side of the hemisphere. Don't believe me? Watch the following. But grab some Advil first.

Wow. Head spinning? That was just 30 seconds of what I endured for over 5 hours. God definitely has a twisted sense of humor FOR SURE!

So, long story long, I've been super busy. I will be working on my We Wanna Meet post RIGHT NOW for your reading enjoyment. I PROMISE!!!!!!

(Unless I get distracted again)

We Wanna Meet - Stories and Pictures coming soon!

2006-10-31T08:41:00.000-06:00

I have SO MANY stories to tell about my awesome weekend with the girls at We Wanna Meet (along with a ton of incriminating pictures), but today is Halloween, laundry day, and grocery shopping day, so I promise I will have a full synopsis of my weekend tomorrow! Check back then!

Cue The Pointer Sisters

2006-10-27T15:13:00.000-05:00

I'm so excited! And I just can't hide it! I'm about to lose control and I think I like it ~ OH YEAH!

Just Four more hours until I'm stuffing my face with food and then spitting it back out from laughing while I hang with some of the coolest chicks in all of Bloggetyville at this!

I'm sure we'll all be blogging in our heads the entire weekend. I can't wait to see how big of a fool I make of myself! Would you expect any less out of me?

A New Blogger in Da House!!

2006-10-23T03:49:00.000-05:00

My very good friend, Erica (whom I just reconnected with after a million years) (is it 'who' or 'whom'?) just started her very own blog! (After I ~~held a gun to her dog's head and demanded~~ gently encouraged her to start one)

So go read her first few posts and keep going back to read her unbelievably awesome story (the one that she will be sharing very soon - AHEM!).

And be sure to smother her in bloggity love and let her know you stopped by!!!

**End of shameless plug. More witty sarcasm and disgusting stories coming soon.**

You might be a Redneck if...

2006-10-22T23:56:00.000-05:00

If you've been reading my wildly entertaining and witty little blog for very long (please know that statement is drenched in sarcasm), then you know I come from....how should I put this....a long line of Hillbillies. Trailer Park dwellers. Country Folk. Good 'ole Boys.

You get the picture.

As mightily as I've tried to instill The Ways of the Suburban Yuppie into my children, giving them nary a glimpse of living in the sticks, only having neighbors with 5 teeth, and having a driveway consisting of dirt and potholes (that you should NOT drive down after a rain storm if you plan to leave again before the ground dries), somehow they have still managed to show off their hillbilly roots.

Kale more blatantly than anyone, what with his constant urges to drop trow on our front porch and pee into the yard. While traffic drives by. Did I mention our house is at the end of a cul-de-sac that butts up to the main road in our neighborhood? Or that we live directly next door to the school? And that he does this while he waits for Jacob to get home? And that all of the super-uptight moms that actually walk to the school to pick up their kids instead of stay home and watch t.v. see him and almost pass flat out behind their double jogging strollers and land on their velvet-jogging suit-clad behinds?

What was I saying? Oh yes... My Jeff Foxworthy-aspiring son.

The other night as I stood in my kitchen ~~cookin' supper barefoot~~ preparing the evening meal, Kale ~~ran around shoeless and shirtless with fudgesicle and snot dried on his face~~ played contently in our backyard on the kids' swing set/fort thingy. *What DO you call those monster, wood contraptions every backyard in suburbia has towering over our nicely stained privacy fences?

Anywho, he was playing in the backyard, I was cooking, and The Two Jakes were at wrestling practice. After they got home, I called Kale in for dinner.

During dinner, the following conversation ensued:

Kale (excitement oozing out of every fiber in his body): "Guess what!?"

Me: "You want to grow up to be a bazillionaire and buy your mom and dad a house in Italy and support my shopping hobby for the remainder of my years." (Hey. A girl can dream, can't she? I have an undying love for Italian shoes like any self-respecting fashionista.)

Kale (with a VERY proud grin plastered across his face): "I pooped in the back yard!"

(I swear I'm not making this up)

Jake and I in unison: "You did WHAT!?"

Jake (with me laughing uncontrollably under the table while he glared at me in disdain because he blames me for our boys' love of bathroom humor.) (Come on, it's FUNNY!!!!): "Well did you clean it up?"

Me (still snickering and giggling like the mature adult I am): "Dude. It's dark outside. Besides - how are we supposed to decipher dog poop from kid poop?"

Kale: "That's okay. The dogs ate it anyway." Followed by a big, satisfying belly laugh.

(GAG!!!!!!!!!!)

Yes, people. That's right. Hillbilly IS genetic. No matter how hard you try to keep it from rearing it's toothless, mullet-laden head, there's no use in fighting it.

I'm pretty sure it's just a matter of time for him to clear out the sink before he pees in it.

And what a proud Momma I'll be on that day. Because it will mean he is not doing it on the front lawn.

Product Review: O-Cel-O Scrub & Wipe Sponges

2006-10-07T11:17:00.000-05:00

In my house we go through many 'o sponges due to the countless cheesy, egg-y dishes I scrub clean, the ginourmous counters I have to wipe down daily, plus all of the other surfaces requiring a squeaky clean shine.

Yesterday I waltzed into my beloved neighborhood Super Target to purchase dinner items and, yet again, replacement sponges for the kitchen. For years I have used Scotch brand No-Scratch blue sponges for my kitchen cleaning, but I have to replace them constantly.

Upon searching for my normal sponge selections, what do my wondering eyes should appear, but a colorful and lovely new invention that made my heart skip a beat and made me weak in the knees.

Behold, Dear Friendternets, the O-Cel-O Scrub and Wipe Sponges! They are two-sided with the first side consisting of a scratchy surface, only this time it's made of vinyl and rubber making it RINSE CLEAN after you scrub melted cheese off of pans or caked-on eggs off of your favorite skillet. The opposite side is made of a soft, plushy wash cloth fabric enabling me to wipe down my granite counters and leave them beautilicious and streak-free. Did I mention the fact that they RINSE CLEAN and don't hold on to yucky food gunk??

Since purchasing the first one to test, I have now returned to purchase 4 more to place around the house in all of the bathrooms. This is how much I love me some Scrub & Wipe Sponges! Now GO! Put them on your shopping list! You'll thank me for it. And I'll be thanking 3M for coming up with yet another ingenious product that I can not live without, with the Post-It being on the very top of that list.

"Come in Planet Flip-Flop, we are ready to land!!"

2006-09-28T19:11:00.000-05:00

Brain Dump

2006-09-26T13:41:00.000-05:00

Okay, so I've been a HUGE Bloggy Slacker for the past, oh, several months. Especially these past several weeks. But I have been BUSY y'all! And when I haven't been running around like a chicken with my head cut off, I haven't really had anything profound to write about. Today is no exception, but you're getting a post from me anyway. So here's what's on this little mind of mine:

Jake has been working out of town in Kansas for the past 2 weeks and will not be back until this weekend. He did make it home for a few days this past weekend for a VERY important event (you'll see in a minute) and left again this morning before the sun even came out. All I have to say is my appreciation for my mother and all other single moms, military moms, and moms who's husbands travel has skyrocketed. I always knew it was hard on my mom raising me alone, but I had NO IDEA how hard it truly is to be the only parent 24-hours a day. And I'm not even trying to juggle a job and go to school while doing this Mom Thing! Last night was my very first time to be truly alone, and that only lasted about 20 minutes while Jake took the boys with him to go grab a bag of potatoes from the store. I am SO READY for a break!

As some of you know, Jacob prayed this past summer at Kid's Camp for Jesus to take up permanent residence in his heart. Well, on Saturday he made his faith public by getting baptised! WOO HOO! It was one of the greatest moments of my life. I got to actually witness my baby boy being Born Again. Words can not describe. I got some great pictures and video that I'll post later.

In regards to my last post on my indecision of whether to go Mac or PC on my next computer, I am really leaning towards Mac. There are several reasons, but the biggest ones being that Macs aren't susceptible to viruses, adware, and other yucky stuff I don't want creeping on my computer. Plus, I can do WAAAAY cooler stuff on a Mac. BUT! My final decision still hasn't been made. I still may end up getting a "Dell, Dude!". Honestly, anything is better than this piece of you-know-what I'm working with now. So for all of you that gave me some really great pros and cons on both, THANK YOU! Because Lord knows I am NOT technically gifted.

After struggling to keep my house in order for the past year (and failing MISERABLY, I might add), I decided to finally try out "The Ladies". The Ladies are here right now and I can't begin to describe my love for them. Before they came over I was in a tizzy grabbing any and all clutter, random blankets laying across couches, papers laying all over any flat surface, and what seemed to be my entire shoe collection strewn across the house (but in reality it was only a small fraction) and just threw it all into my big 'ole bedroom closet. I thought "Oh, they'll never clean my closet". Well, I was wrong. Dead wrong, my friends. I went into my bedroom to find my closet, my bathroom, by bedroom all SPOTLESS and Picture Perfect!! They had taken every blanket and folded it neatly in a nice pile in the closet, lined up every pair of shoes, neatly stacked any and all random papers laying about, and hung up all of my clothes that were haphazardly draped over my clothes rod. I am officially The Ladies Fan Club President and I will be offering to pay them double what they quoted me simply for the amount of hair they have prevented me from pulling out of my head over the stress of trying to keep up with this monster house. Do you think they might find it offensive if I try to give them a big, huge hug before they leave?

I'm currently reading A Woman After God's Own Heart by Elizabeth George for a Women's-Only bible Study at church. I've heard about and seen this book eleventy-million times before, but always shrugged it off as another one of those "feel good" books. OH MY GOODNESS was I wrong! I love her writing style and her amazing view of scripture, not to mention her ingenious allegories. I highly recommend picking this up. You'll be glad you did.

I realized this morning that out of the past, oh, 14 days, I have not worn a baseball cap for 4 of them. This is a big no-no in my personal appearance handbook. But I have been either too lazy or too busy to actually take the whole five minutes out of my morning to fix my hair. Seriously, y'all. It only takes me five minutes to fix it, yet I haven't mustered up the energy to do it. What's next? Not brushing my teeth? This is going against every moral fiber in my body that says I MUST be put together when I leave the house. But I've been telling myself it's okay because I make sure to wear some sassy earrings and slap on some lip gloss before I walk out the door donning my grungy baseball cap for the 6th day in a row. I need my husband back home. I'm turning into the Frumpy Housewife I swore I'd never become. I've realized he is my only motivation to look like I give a hoot about my appearance. So, Jake, get back home already so I can have a reason to look cute again!!! (And so I can smooch you.)

That's all that's rattling around in this pea brain of mine. I promise to come up with something a little more profound next time. Or not. We'll see. I'm off to sit and gaze at my spotless shower doors and roll around on the pretty carpet that I haven't seen in months and almost forgot existed.

HELP!

2006-09-13T12:05:00.000-05:00

I have a dilemma and I am turning to you, my dear friendternets, to help me solve said dilemma in an effort to prevent my head from exploding.

I have a VERY old computer. As in 'it was brand new EIGHT YEARS AGO' old. Needless to say it has paid it's dues and it is SCREAMING at me to put it into retirement (while I am screaming right back at it at least 100 times a day when it decides it's going to be fickle and just shut down for NO. APPARENNT. REASON. *GRRR!* ).

I know I want a laptop so I'm not tied down to being in my office. But here is where my little dilemma comes in: Should I go MAC or PC?

Jake is a die-hard Dell guy, but I'm totally open to what would be the best fit for me.

I only need it for my bloggity pleasure, being able to actually download music (which I have never been able to do on this piece of poo), and doing pretty things with pictures, video and such, BUT! I still have a need for those pesky spreadsheets on an almost-daily basis.

So you tell me: Which version have you found to be better and more cost-effective? I'm begging you - help a girl out, pretty, pretty please with sugar on top!

Check it out!

2006-09-12T21:20:00.000-05:00

Check out the new 'do, courtesy of the oh-so-fabulous Karen! I guess you could say it's a bit, ummmm, RED! Hey, a girl's gotta have a hobby. Mine just happens to be a hair hobby.

Just promise me you guys will still let me come to the We Wanna Meet shin-dig in October. ;o)

me-me-me-me - Meme!

2006-09-05T09:46:00.000-05:00

Saw this meme over at BooMama's pad, so I thought I'd partake....

1. If you make sweet tea, do you use Luzianne, Lipton or _______ whatever your brand is?

I use Luzianne combined with a few bags of Lipton Mango or Blackberry to give it a little kick. **And it MUST be sweet. It is a mortal sin to make unsweetened tea. Look it up, it's in there.

2. What brand of toilet paper do you buy, and is it the larger rolls or regular?

Ultra Quilted Northern, double rolls, Baby! We have a lot of tushes to wipe 'round here and we likes it soft!

3. Which brand of bath soap do you use? Is it body wash or bar style?

Dove Gentle Exfoliating Body Wash (LOVE this stuff!!)

4. Which cereal do you buy for yourself?

**Okay, promise you won't roll your eyes and make fun of me. I am one of those freaks that eats organic and all-natural food, but I promise I have bags of chocolate and I do partake in some heavy-duty Mexican food intake. And I don't look down on people who don't eat like me!

Kashi Organic Promise Strawberry Fields (my FAVORITE!!!) or Nature's Path Organic Optimum Zen (cranberry & ginger - YUM!)

5. What brand of dishwasher detergent do you use and is it liquid or tablets?

I use the Cascade 2-in-1 tablets. LOVE them!!!! Just pop one in and shut the door. And no squeezing and shaking the bottle like a spastic lunatic trying to get that last blob of liquid detergent to make it's way out.

6. What is your favorite fruit to eat?

MMMM....hands down Mangos. I could live off them. I even bought this handy dandy mango slicer. It's a must-have for the mango lover.

7. Which brand of clothes detergent do you use?

Liquid Tide or Woolite (depending on the load)

8. Do you like chocolate?

Does a good dog hunt? Why, yes, I consider it a very important food group, thankyouverymuch.

9. Are you right-handed or left-handed?

Right

10. Do you still write checks or use a debit card?

I am the debit card QUEEN! I never carry cash and I can't even remember the last time I wrote a check (I couldn't even tell you where my check book is). I don't understand the reasoning behind people still using checks. It's such a waste of time (and paper!).

Jeana and Carol, you're it next! So get crackin'. And if anyone else wants to join in, just let me know in the comments section so I can swing by and check you out!

Peace out, Homies!

Praying for Baby Eliot

2006-09-05T09:15:00.000-05:00

Sometimes we run across stories that you can't help but allow to give your faith a huge jolt and remind you of the amazing, loving, sovereign God we serve. This family's amazing story did just that for me this morning.

I was forwarded a link to the family blog for this sweet, sweet baby, Eliot. He was born with a condition known as Trisomy 18. The condition is fatal and the babies diagnosed with it are usually stillborn or only live a day or two.

Baby Eliot has lived for 46 days now! Praise the LORD! His sweet parents have a birthday celebration for him every day and have been sharing their amazing journey thus far with this small bundle of miracles they've been blessed with.

So GO NOW and read thier phenomenal story and be sure to fill up their comment box with your prayers!

Baby Eliot

Nanny, Nanny, Boo, Boo! Guess who I got to MIRL with!

2006-09-01T15:46:00.000-05:00

For the last several months I have been lurking on a certain person's blog, commenting once in a while (but always intimidated to do so because she is a TOTALLY GIFTED writer, sucking me in daily with her mesmerizing accounts of everyday life and occasionally causing me to spew whatever beverage I'm consuming all over my desk and computer screen), and secretly wishing I could "MIRL" with her.

Well, Ladies and Gents, I am here to state that God cares about even our teeny-tiniest desires and He is willing to make them happen!

At the beginning of the week I got an email from this "certain person" asking ME if I would be interested in joining her for lunch. *commence loud squealing* I calmly and coolly responded that, yes (Ohmygoodness!), I would, in fact, love to get together. I never vocalised to anyone that I was interested in meeting her, but God knew. He also knows I'm too chicken to have ever asked her myself. That's why the Good Lord brain-washed her into thinking she would want to meet me. HA!

So yesterday I nervously walked into a local restaurant and was greeted with a warm smile and big ole' hug by the oh-so-famous Antique Mommy. Before I met with her, I was a little nervous if she would take me seriously or judge me by my appearance. None of that ever took place. In fact, I felt like I was sitting down with someone I had known my entire life. She's way cool, comical, witty, and told me a bit of her story that has me completely blown away and yearning to hear more.

I can't wait for many more lunches and more great conversation! (By 'conversation' I mean me babbling on incessantly not giving her a word in edge wise)

Her account of our lunch date is entirely more compelling than I could ever conjure up, so be sure to read her version here.

Must-Reads!

2006-08-28T08:58:00.000-05:00

Nothing I have going on or have to say can top these amazing God Moment stories I have come across the past few days. Get the Kleenex ready and be prepared for some major goosebumps!

A Much Bigger Picture - Rattling Around
First, Some Questions - BooMama
There and Back Again - A Broad In Athens

Now GO! And be blessed by these incredible stories!!

Ode to G-Nelly

2006-08-14T19:58:00.000-05:00

***WARNING! WARNING!

Sappy post ahead!!!***

In my life I have been blessed with many friends. My oldest friend, Tiffani, for instance, has been one of my best friends since the 7th grade. We still talk often and giggle over the phone just like we were still in middle school. She was there for most of my life's tragedies and turmoil. *I miss you, Tiff!

My husband says he can always tell who I'm talking to on the phone because I have a special "voice" for all of my friends and some of my family. (Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that!)

My best friend, GiNelle, is no exception. We are two peas in a pod, The Troublesome Twosome, kindred spirits, sisters by choice - you name it.

We met over 10 years ago when we worked at the same restaurant waiting tables and we've been inseparable since. Her family treats me like part of the family and mine does the same with her. In fact, I can go as far as saying my family treats her much nicer than they treat me when we're all together. But I'm not bitter. :o)

We have made road trips together that put Thelma and Louise to shame. Seriously. Every outing ended up being some outlandish story. Every outing...even trips to the store. We have been through horrible boyfriends, crappy jobs, getting married, and starting families.

GiNelle and I are life-long friends that will still be giggling and acting juvenile when we're wrinkly and old (NOT grey - that's why God created hair color, Y'all!). I am so thankful for all of the memories we have made over the years and I can't wait to make more over the years to come.

I just wanted to exploit my blog space for a little ode to my dear, sweet friend and tell her how much I love her and how much she means to me. Thanks for enduring the sappy post. I promise I'll be back to my snarky, sarcastic self in the next go-round. ;o)

Love you, Girl!

*How adorable is she?! Pregnant with boy #3! YIPES!

Health Update

2006-08-11T14:42:00.000-05:00

Several people through both the blogging world and real world have graciously reminded me that I'm a huge slacker and I haven't given y'all any updates on my health issues in quite some time. As embarrassing as it feels, I have lots of news that should have been shouted at the top of my lungs for weeks now, but I've dropped the ball because I let summer activities and day-to-day busyness take precedence over my blogging in the past few months.

So here I am to bring you all up to speed and poor out my very humble THANKS for all of your prayers. I am so truly blessed to be surrounded by such amazing, faithful friends and I could NOT have made it through this without each of you.

On April 18th I was out running errands with our youngest son, Kale, and had to be rushed to the hospital with what we later found to be Complex Partial Seizures (a form of Epilepsy). Through several medications, a new Neurologist, another week-long stay at a different hospital for observation, and many, many debilitating seizures to follow, I began to pray some very bold prayers. Every time I picked up my bible, every time I sought wise counsel, I was being led to specific scriptures that gave me no choice but to KNOW that God was telling me something (something that many people may think crazy and foolish, but, frankly, I don't care how foolish they think I am. I know when God is telling me something and who am I to ignore it?). He was telling me "I've got it under control, Chica. Lay off the mind-numbing stupid pills and let me handle it." So I did. I started praying to Him thanking Him in advance for healing me and believing it like it had already been done.

These are the scriptures I have been meditating on and praying over:

Jonah 2:2-10 In this passage, he is in the belly of a whale, y'all (or in my case, in the middle of dealing with a life-altering illness) , yet he is thanking God for saving him from it. Thanking him as if it has already been done. And, well, you already know the outcome.

Matthew 21:21-22 21Jesus replied, "I tell you the truth, if you have faith and do not doubt, not only can you do what was done to the fig tree, but also you can say to this mountain, 'Go, throw yourself into the sea,' and it will be done. 22If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer." (emphasis mine) Hey, when Jesus says "I tell you the truth." and "If you believe, you will receive it" then you can just consider me a straight up believer, Baby!

1 Peter 2:24 He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed. (emphasis mine)

May 28th was my last seizure. On June 5th I went to my last doctors appointment. He prescribed me a third try at medication but I never even filled it. I had a burning in the pit of my stomach that told me I was not to fill that prescription. I have been off of medication since that doctors visit. And since then I have not suffered from ANY MORE SEIZURES! Did you read that? No medicine and no seizures my friends! For 10 weeks and counting!!!! And I feel perfect!

So for all of my fabulous friends who committed to praying for me, who took the time out of their busy lives to visit me in the hospital, bring me cool presents, make meals, take care of my kids, tote me around, and just flat out be there for me, I'm sending you a big, huge smacker! MMMMMMMWAH! Your prayers have been felt and, more importantly, they have been ANSWERED!!!

So spread the news: God is GREAT and it is only through Him that this has been done.

I'm Still Here!

2006-07-14T11:49:00.000-05:00

I just wanted to drop in an say hi and let you all know I'm still alive and kickin'!

Okay, so I've been Super-Slacker-Blogger as of late, but who can blame me when I have this, this, this, this, and this to enjoy right in my own neighborhood? (Amanda, you need to get your butt in a bathing suit and get over here STAT!)

Today is the first day this week that we haven't made it down the street to swim (the day is still young...that could easily change). But I promise I haven't forgotten all of you! We're just enjoying this phenomenal blessing God has given to us and not missing a moment of being able to take advantage of having such an amazing facility right at our fingertips. Besides, what other ways are there to entertain yourselves in the middle of July in the blistering Texas heat? Anything without water just doesn't appeal. Also, it's a good way to keep the house somewhat clean when there's no one here to mess it up. Although it does interfere with meal planning. The fact that I fed my kids cereal for dinner the other night is a great example.

In other news, I have officially been off medication (against my doctor's best wishes, of course) for 6 weeks and have remained SEIZURE FREE! Did you read that? SEIZURE FREE my friends! With NO MEDICINE! This was something I prayed HEAVILY over and every scripture God led me to told me that He was going to take care of it - that medicine was not the answer. This explained heartily why I was still having so many seizures while on anti-seizure medication - because I wasn't supposed to be relying on it, but instead relying on the Lord for healing. All glory goes to Him. Thank you all for your prayers for me and my family. They are being answered!! :o)

Now I'm off to shower (and possibly swim - who knows)!

Happy Day!

The Best Day EVER!

2006-06-29T10:31:00.000-05:00

Monday morning Jake and I dropped Jacob off for his first year of Kid's Camp for church. Sunday night we colored his hair red (to match his team color) and got him all packed up. He could hardly contain himself he was so excited.

When I dropped him off I silently prayed for this to be an experience of his lifetime; something he'd never forget.

This morning I received a phone call from my very good friend, Corrie. She was telling me how she had gone up to the camp Wednesday night to help out with some things and she saw my sweet boy. She said he was happy and having a great time.

Then she gave me the news.

Wednesday night was the night they gave the message of Salvation. 150 kids raised their hands to say they were ready to accept Christ!!! Isn't that INCREDIBLE?! Want to know what's even more incredible?

My Jacob was one of them!!!!!!!!!!

I can't even describe the emotions going on inside me right now. I haven't stopped crying since she told me. I guess a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Perhaps this is a confirmation that Jake and I have truly turned our family down a much different path than the one we were raised on.

I always promised myself that my kids would have it different. That I would do all it takes to raise them in a godly home and give them a better life than I had.

I'm not talking material things, I'm talking about growing up with an actual family with a mom AND a dad, with unconditional love, with strong moral values, with an undying love for Christ. All the things I never had growing up.

We are soooo blessed to be a part of Fellowship Church. If it weren't for their decision to share Jesus in a creative, relevant way, I never would have given God a second thought, nor would I have continued to come to church. And if it weren't for their dedication to age-appropriate teaching for kids and keeping church exciting and fun, I'm certain Jacob would not have made the decision he did.

This is truly one of the happiest days of my life.

Come rejoice with me!!!

Mexico Pics

2006-06-21T11:44:00.000-05:00

Our Mexico pictures are up - finally! You can check the set out here.

Works For Me Wednesday: Keeping My Bathroom Tidy

2006-06-21T09:40:00.000-05:00

I used to have a huge problem with clutter in the bathroom that drove me (and Jake) crazy. Hair dryer, hair products, toiletries, make-up - you name it - was strewn all over my counter top. It was embarrassing.

So, I went to the store and bought a tub with a handle in the center and put all of my daily items in the tub. When I'm finished using them in the mornings (or whenever I decide to drag my butt in the bathroom and do something with myself), I stick the tub in the cabinet under the sink out of sight and VOILA! I have a neat and tidy bathroom!

It Works For Me!

WFMW: Having an Effective Quiet Time

2006-06-14T09:39:00.000-05:00

For today's Works For Me Wednesday, I bring you "The Effective Quiet Time"!

Want to read a book, but can't concentrate over all of the noise? Want to have an effective time in The Word, but can't because you have little monkeys crawling all over you asking for everything under the sun?

I bring you an easy, two-step solution, dear Internet friends!

Duct Tape and Rope!

Just tie the little heathens up and slap some duct tape on their whiny little mouths! They're quiet enough for you to have your time in peace, and they're still within sight so you know they're safe and not getting into mischief.

Hey! It Works For Me!

A Centennial Celebration

2006-06-09T14:51:00.000-05:00

It's my 100th post!!!

So much has happened since my little blog's inception it makes my head spin!

My first post was a bit of a trial thing, since I had been lurking on many other blogs for months, but was terrified of starting one of my own ("What if no one reads this stuff? What if everyone thinks my writing stinks?"). Of course, my writing isn't exactly publishing material, and I still only have the 10 of you that actually read this stuff (ha!), but I've come a long way in a few short months, Baby!

I've stood on a soap box and vented, I struggled with potty-training (that is the understatement of the century), proudly celebrated it's success on an ongoing basis. I've failed miserably (and publicly) with housework, and, most definitely, God used my crazy, dramatic life story to speak to other people while healing me in the process.

And just as I was getting settled in my non-dramatic life, God decided to pull the rug out from under my feet.

In between I've met some absolutely amazing, phenomenal, out-of-this-world friends (and re-connected with some old ones) who have been a tremendous support system for me with their sincere encouragement, fervent prayers, and laughter. Because of all of you, I am a forever changed person.

So here's to the next 100 posts! Let's see what God has in store!!

Look who's rested, refreshed and TAN!

2006-06-04T20:07:00.000-05:00

We're back! And sooooo refreshed! The vacation was nothing short of amazing and it was just what I needed to get back in my groove. Thank you all so much for all of your sweet comments, emails, and especially your prayers. I have certainly felt them.

I can't wait to tell you all about our trip, but I'm off to hang with the fam. Until then....

Time for a break

2006-05-24T16:29:00.000-05:00

I've decided to take a short break from blogging. I'm not sure how short or long of a break it will be. Probably just until we get back from Mexico.

It has really been a trying week on us. Satan is attacking us in a mighty way. We are trying our hardest to hold it together, but are in need of serious prayer. I know without a shadow of a doubt that this is confirmation for what lies ahead. God has something so unbelievably amazing planned for us. Otherwise, why would Satan be attacking us with such zeal?

See you when I'm back and refreshed! :o)

Treasure Tuesday

2006-05-23T10:34:00.000-05:00

When my mom was sick, she always wrapped herself up in this quilt. It was old, raggedy, and not that attractive. But it was warm, soft and comforting.

After she died, I let my adoptive mom have the quilt. She and my mom were like sisters and I knew she would care for it and respect it better than I could at the time. Every time I would go back home to Tulsa I got to snuggle up in my mom's quilt.

Until recently, that was the only time I could enjoy it.

When Sandy (my adoptive mommy) came down a few weekends ago to help me get things in order for this new way of life we're dealing with, she brought me a present.

My mom's quilt. Now, not only can I snuggle up with it, but my kids get to as well. It's the closest they can get to snuggling up with their Grandma Lynnie and the closest I get to snuggling up with my sweet momma.

Got treasure? Faith is the keeper of the Treasure Tuesday list.

I have the best husband ever

2006-05-21T19:05:00.000-05:00

Jake took it upon himself to book an emergency vacation for the two of us. Boy, do we ever need it?!

Monday morning we are flying to Mexico and staying in Playa del Carmen. I'll be calling this place home for the entirety of the week.

Thanks, Babe. You are THE BEST.

Now I'm off to try and find my birth certificate. YIKES!

This is the one where I lay it all out there (well, most of it)

2006-05-20T01:19:00.000-05:00

Okay, so if you read my blog very often, or if you've read anything in the past few weeks, you are probably aware of my latest drama. If not, go here and here and read those first. I'll wait.

All caught up? Good. Let's move forward.

So the last time I wrote about my seizure issues I had just come home from the hospital from being tortured (okay, "Evaluated") for a week.

I went to see my neurologist this past Monday for a follow-up in hopes of some answers. Instead, I left with more confusion and more questions. No one has any idea what in the heck is wrong with me. My highly-intelligent, used-to-be-head-of-a-seizure-department neurologist is "Stumped and intrigued" (his words) with my case. Thankfully, he wants nothing to do with playing the 'Medicine Game' with me and truly wants to figure out what's going on. For that, I truly respect and admire him.

This new medication I'm on is leaps and bounds better than the last, because I'm not all spacey and walking around like a zombie, BUT I'm extremely drowsy and I have no (I mean ZIP, zilcho, nadda!) energy or motivation to do anything.

Plus? I'm still having seizures!!!! *GRRR!* And it's really starting to freak me out / tick me off. Because, well.....I almost drowned in the bathtub on Tuesday.

Yeah, I'll give you a minute for the images to sink in of what could have very easily been the alternate outcome.

Monday night I had a seizure while I was sitting on the couch watching the Mavs kick some San Antonio tail on TV. Every other time I've seized, I could feel it coming on. This one hit me like a Mack truck and all I could get out to warn Jake was "Ja..." and then I was in a full-blown seizure.

Tuesday, as soon as Jake got home from work, I went into the bathroom to take a bath. Kale had gone across the street to play, Jake was cooking dinner, and I was grody and smelly from swimming all day, so I decided to relax in the tub.

Jake thought I had gone across to get Kale.

About 5 minutes later, the neighbor called my cell phone and Jake realized I wasn't over there. He came looking for me around the house and found me floating in a full bathtub with just my face sticking up out of the water completely unresponsive.

*Sitting here thinking about it, I can't help but have the images in my mind of my husband's face finding me or the thought of my sweet babies growing up without me.

I am not one to spill my guts with all of my junk. Mostly because I don't like to sound like I'm whining and I really hate the type of attention this kind of thing receives. I think I might explode if one more person asks me how I'm feeling or how sorry they are for me that I'm going through this. Well, I'm not sorry, to be completely honest. And I'm sorry if I sound brazen or harsh. But I know without a shadow of a doubt that I'm going through this for a reason and God never, ever, not once said life was without trials. People who have gone through life without adversity aren't exactly outstanding, interesting, inspiring people (I'm not saying I'm any of those things). I am just a girl that wants to look back on my life and be able to point out the exact moments God was orchestrating monumental, supernatural events that were completely beyond my control and so much bigger than me that I will never be able to comprehend their magnitude in this lifetime. This is probably going to be one of them. I don't know.

All that said, it doesn't mean I'm taking all of this in stride, because I'm not. I may look like I am and I may feed you some great lip service if you ask me how things are going, but it's all a bunch of crap. Mostly because I don't want to admit I have absolutely zero control over this.

I do not want to be the girl everyone feels sorry for or feels like they have to take care of. I am not a person that depends on others. I do not do drama!! It goes against everything in my being to be taken care of. I am the one who is always the care-taker. I have always been to one who could take care of herself when no one else would. I have always been the one people could go to when they needed help. (Seeing a pattern here?)

Obviously this is a huge lesson in pride for me, because I have a very hard time admitting that, without Christ, I am a worthless, wretched individual who couldn't do a darn thing for herself.

So I guess the point of this rant is two-fold.

1) I am going to humble myself for a moment and stop trying to be funny and sarcastic and portraying the "I have it all together" look to solicit your prayers. I need healing. Spiritual healing, Physical healing, and Mental healing. Because through all of this, my body, my brain and my spirit are all very tired. Exhausted, in fact. And my sweet, amazing husband is about to buckle from all of the pressure of added responsibilities due to my inability to perform my daily duties.

In addition to the healing process, I want to be aware of what God is trying to poor out of me; the junk He is trying to remove from my messed up little brain and replace with something Holy and worthy of praise.

2) Just get it all of my chest. I am not dealing well with my sudden loss of independence. To put it into perspective, if I don't have another seizure from right now (Please, God!) I will not be able to drive a vehicle again until Thanksgiving! No running to the store to pick up that one item I need to finish dinner, no running the boys to wrestling practice, no trips to Chic-fil-A for lunch and an ice cream to break up the day, no trips to the zoo or the movies this summer, no bible studies. None of that. I can't even schedule hair appointments during the week because I have to wait until the weekend so Jake can take me (when he'd much rather be playing golf with his friends or hanging out with us). All of my doctor's appointments? Jake has to take off work for every one of them. And? I can't even take a stinkin' bath or shower without putting it out on a flashing marque.

So after writing all of this down and going back to read it, this is the one thing that God is hitting me over the head with: "I am going to do something so amazing with this. Just wait. Just be still and wait."

So here I am...waiting. As joyfully as possible. Because there are women without husbands to take care of them with the abundant love and tenderness that Jake gives me. There are families who do not have health insurance, nor the means to pay for medical bills. There are people going through this without a love for the Lord to give them the peace of knowing that He has a plan for them; a plan to prosper them and not to harm them. There are people going through so much worse who do not have countless people concerned enough to care how they are feeling and who are committed to praying for their complete healing and recovery.

So I will consider myself blessed and be joyful in knowing that God has something phenomenal in store at the end of this rainy season. I'll be here waiting under my umbrella watching for a rainbow.

Can I get an Amen?

2006-05-19T11:47:00.000-05:00

Said today on the phone by my funny friend, GiNelle. Well, ONE of the funny things she said. My brain couldn't remember everything she said.

In a Cajun, Louisiana accent: "Girl, my house is like the Bermuda Triangle. You turn around and something disappears and you never see it again."

How many of us can relate??

A tough one

2006-05-17T22:11:00.000-05:00

Jeana tagged me for this as payback for tagging her on this one.

What is your favorite word? Definitely 'Chillax'.

What is your least favorite word? Laundry - I start twitching when I hear that word *shiver*

What turns you on spiritually, creatively, emotionally? Ummm...I'm with Jeana. I don't quite get this question either. I guess if I had to answer it would be the ability to hold firm to ones belief's and a firm, biblical foundation.

What turns you off? I'm with Jeana (again) ~ Copenhagen! Double Bleh!

What’s your favorite curse word? I used to make sailors' eyelashes curl, but I have since cleaned up my act. I do, however, have slip-ups. Generally it's a "Son of a...", well, you know the rest.

What sound or noise do you love to hear? The faint whimpers from Jake after I kick his sorry butt for pestering me while I'm trying to do something. When will he learn that it just doesn't pay to mess with me? And there is no hiding spot in the house I cannot find. And I'm NOT afraid to use the sprayer on the kitchen sink as he tries to flee the kitchen (unsuccessfully, I might add).

What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Teaching women how to dress for their body shape. I would do it for free. That's how much I love to do it.

What profession would you NOT like to do? I tried to think of something sarcastic and funny, but seriously? Prostitution. Dark and depressing, I know.

If Heaven exists (HELLO! What do you mean "IF"?), what would you like to hear God say at the pearly gates? Well done, good and faithful servant. (What He'll probably say: "How did YOU get in here?")

Susan, Stephanie and Kate, you're it!

I'm telling myself it's fat-free and organic and it will actually SHRINK the circumference of my butt/thighs/waist

2006-05-17T18:36:00.000-05:00

I just stumbled on this recipe over at Something So Clever for Banana Butterscotch Cake. She always has the yummiest food stuffs on her site and I gain weight just reading her blog. But this? I am SO trying!

Care to come over for a slice and a cup of coffee? Come on in. The door's open! :o)

WFMW: Keeping The Kitchen Table Beautilicious

2006-05-17T11:43:00.000-05:00

We have this mammoth, counter height table in our kitchen that we just bought last year. Our last table got destroyed by the kids, so I was determined to come up with a way to prevent that from happening again.

I went to Wal-Mart and bought enough place mats for each setting and let the kids pick out 5 or 6 Kid-Friendly place mats for them to use as well. The key here is that they can be tossed in the sink and wiped clean. I have all of the place mats as well as a stack of coasters in a drawer at the end of our island. When it's time to set the table for dinner, the kids pick out whatever place mat they are in the mood for as well as place mats for mom and dad and set the table. When dinner is over, the place mats get picked up with the plates and my table gets protected from crusted-on food from the kids. The best part is not having to wipe down the table every night after dinner (which is very hard on the wood).

There you have it! It Works For Me!

The Tale of Despereaux

2006-05-16T23:55:00.000-05:00

My funny friend Lauren is our book club leader (when she's not performing harmonica solos) and is always recommending some seriously interesting books. While I was in the hospital she brought me the most Amazing Book Ever. And? Get this. It's not even for me! It's for me to read to my kiddos. Let me just say I've never had so much fun reading any other book to my kids.

Dear, sweet internet friends, if you have kids that you still read to, run and buy this book. It's a chapter book, thus no pictures, but it is so captivating that Kale (3-y.o.) screams for "MORE! MORE!" every night. And, of course, Jacob looooves it to the point of being willing to go to bed extra early every night so we can read more than our usual 2-3 chapters (they're short chapters).

It's written by the same author who wrote 'Because of Winn-Dixie' (which, by the way, I also read to the kids and they adored it), but it is SOOOOO much better.

Here is the Editorial Review:

Amazon.com
Kate DiCamillo, author of the Newbery Honor book Because of Winn-Dixie, spins a tidy tale of mice and men where she explores the "powerful, wonderful, and ridiculous" nature of love, hope, and forgiveness. Her old-fashioned, somewhat dark story, narrated "Dear Reader"-style, begins "within the walls of a castle, with the birth of a mouse." Despereaux Tilling, the new baby mouse, is different from all other mice. Sadly, the romantic, unmouselike spirit that leads the unusually tiny, large-eared mouse to the foot of the human king and the beautiful Princess Pea ultimately causes him to be banished by his own father to the foul, rat-filled dungeon.
The first book of four tells Despereaux's sad story, where he falls deeply in love with Princess Pea and meets his cruel fate. The second book introduces another creature who differs from his peers--Chiaroscuro, a rat who instead of loving the darkness of his home in the dungeon, loves the light so much he ends up in the castle& in the queen's soup. The third book describes young Miggery Sow, a girl who has been "clouted" so many times that she has cauliflower ears. Still, all the slow-witted, hard-of-hearing Mig dreams of is wearing the crown of Princess Pea. The fourth book returns to the dungeon-bound Despereaux and connects the lives of mouse, rat, girl, and princess in a dramatic denouement.
Children whose hopes and dreams burn secretly within their hearts will relate to this cast of outsiders who desire what is said to be out of their reach and dare to break "never-to-be-broken rules of conduct." Timothy Basil Ering's pencil illustrations are stunning, reflecting DiCamillo's extensive light and darkness imagery as well as the sweet, fragile nature of the tiny mouse hero who lives happily ever after. (Ages 9 and older) --Karin Snelson --This text refers to the Hardcover edition

The kids especially love it because it is filled with wildly interesting characters and I have given each one their own special voice. Despereaux's mother is French ~ she's their favorite. I guess I do a mean French accent because they giggle and roll around in their beds every time it's her turn to speak.

Go check it out. You won't be sorry! The Tale of Despereaux

Now I Know My ABC's, Won't You Come and Read With Me?

2006-05-12T22:43:00.000-05:00

Carol tagged me on the ABC's of my life.

Edited**: OH NO! I forgot 'U'!! Thanks PEZmama, for pointing out how retarded I am. ;o)

Accent: I moved around too much to develop one, but I have picked up a bit of that good ole' Southern twang combined with Jake's Pittsburgh, PA phrases. I hate it wen I catch myself sounding like I'm from The 'Burgh. *shudder*

Bible Book that I like: Hands down Isaiah.

Chore I don't care for: UGH! ALL of them! But since I have to pick just one, I would say cleaning the bathroom. Girls who live in a houseful of males, can you feel me on this one?

Dog or Cat: Absolutely, without a doubt Dogs. I abhor cats. But the dog has to be a cool dog. Not one of those "Kick Me, Yip Yap" kind that make you want to slit your wrists if you have to listen to them yap ONE. MORE. TIME! (My grandmother has two of these that go EVERYWHERE with her. *snarl*)

Essential Electronics: Cell Phone and computer. I don't own an iPOD (GASP!), but I really, really, REALLY want one. (Hint *Jake* Hint).

Favorite Cologne: Chanel: Allure. I've been wearing it for years.

Gold or Silver: Either/or. But I DO NOT MIX THEM, (Carol!! I'm shocked!) That is a BIG Jewelry No, No! In fact, if I am wearing gold jewelry, I will not wear my wedding ring because it does not match. Call me anal.

Handbag I Carry Most Often: I switch them out all the time, but the one I carry the most is one I got from Anthropology. It's BEU. TEE. FULL! (I must have this!)

Insomnia: Unfortunately, yes. It's in the genes. My mom, grandma, and every other female on that side of the family are all night owls.

Job Title: I've had so many! At the moment, it's wife and mom. We'll see what God has in store later on down the road. But for now, I'm totally digging what I'm doing.

Kids: Two boys, ages 6 and 3

Living Arrangements: Hunky Husband, two crazy boys, two ginormous dogs living in Suburban Wonderland in a home I never in my wildest dreams thought I'd be living in.

Most Admirable Trait: That's a tough one. I'm my own worst critic. I guess it would be my fabulous sense of humor. *wink*

Naughtiest Childhood Behavior: My mom raised me vegetarian and I got forced into taking a fist full of huge, nasty, stinky vitamins every morning. In an attempt to not take them, I would wait for my mom to leave the kitchen and drop them either down the drain or in my tall glass of ice-cold goats milk. MMMM! To this day I can not take vitamins or large pills that have an odor. During my pregnancies, my doctor had to prescribe me chewable prenatal vitamins.

Overnight Hospital Stays: Bleh! Can we just skip this letter? Two eye surgeries when I was a kid, two births, and, most recently, two week-long stints for my "Shaky Situation".

Phobias: Being in the dark anywhere near a wooded area. My Aunt lives in the country in Missouri and her house is surrounded by trees. I CAN NOT go outside of her house at night alone without my hair standing up on the back of my neck.

Quote: "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." -Eleanor Roosevelt

Religion: I'm with Carol. I'm a Christian, but I put zero stock in religion. It's all about the relationship with Jesus, Baby!

Siblings: I was raised an only child, but my dad remarried when I was a kid and I have a half-brother and two half-sisters that I absolutely adore.

Time I Wake Up: Wake up? Around 6:30. Actually get my butt out of the bed? Around 7:45.

Unusual Talent or Skill: I have two. 1) I can do a spot-on impersonation of "Goat Boy" from SNL. It freaks Jake out, thus requiring me to do it for him as often as possible. 2) I can balance a full beer pitcher on my head while hula-hooping. For a short period of time (while business was slow) I had paddle-balling included in this. But, alas, business picked up and I could no longer keep up my paddle-balling expertise.

Vegetable I Refuse to Eat: As I mentioned, I was raised vegetarian, so I love, love, love my veggies and I don't refuse to eat any of them. I'm not real hot on radishes or beets, though.

Worst Habit: Let's just say I am gross. So the bad habits are never-ending here. I will not divulge any of them because I know you will never look at me the same again and I don't think I can handle that kind of rejection.

X-rays: 1) Right elbow: broke it on the ice during practice (collided with another skater) when I was 13 (I used to be a competitive figure skater). 2) Left middle and ring fingers: a boy in my history class broke them after I slapped him in the face for pinching me on the butt in 6th grade. He later became my boyfriend when we were Juniors in high school. I had great taste in men. 3) Lots of back x-rays for my countless back injuries caused by years of skating. 4) Left foot last summer for a broken foot (not sure how I broke it. It was more of a stress fracture). 5) Most recently, well, you know the story.

Yummy Stuff I Cook: MMM! I love to cook! I guess my best stuff would be my NNO Pasta dish, my Italian Roast Beef, and I make a MEAN batch of fresh pico and guac. So good it'll make you want to slap yer momma!

Zoo Animal I Like Most: The orangutans! I love watching them climb all over and be mischievous. As far as favorite animal (non-zoo) it would have to be the giraffe. What a beautiful being with those long necks!

There you have it! I'm tagging Leslie, Shelly and Jeana.

I Blog, Therefore I am....A Blogging Chick

2006-05-11T19:58:00.000-05:00

I've just signed up to be on Blogging Chicks! WooHoo!

Go check it out and sign up too! All the cool, hip, bloggin' mommas are doin' it.

Works for Me Wednesday: It just LOOKS like I've been slaving over the stove all day

2006-05-10T09:04:00.000-05:00

While trying to cope with medicine that makes me groggy and keep up with a big house, kids, chores, etc., I'm pretty notorious with Jake for not knowing what's for dinner....at 6:00pm. Because, well, all I really want to do is this.

So here's what works for me. (This works for me really well, also, by the way.)

On Sundays I take all of the meats that we will be eating for the week, throw them in a big zippy bag with my marinade of choice and toss it in the fridge. If I'm feeling extremely "I don't feel like cooking today" that day, I toss the meat in my crock pot with the new super-cool throw-away liners and "Voila!" Dinner is served!

No fuss, no muss, and no disgusting crock pot mess to clean up!

Hey! It works for me!!

Does the old addage "Birds of a feather flock together" ALWAYS have to ring true?

2006-05-10T07:53:00.000-05:00

Just for fun during my second night in the hospital, my doctor ordered that I be sleep deprived to try and tax my brain and induce a seizure. I think they were just in serious need of someone to make fun of on the other side of the cameras (they were monitoring me by video and audio 24/7). To help keep me awake, they encouraged me to invite my friends to sit with me through the night.

The hospital staff had no idea what they were getting themselves into. Clearly they have never met my friends.

Who keeps a harmonica in their purse, anyway? Apparantly, my friend, Lauren does.

This is just a taste of our middle-of-the-night antics.

I'm back from my week-long stay at "The Spa"

2006-05-05T16:54:00.000-05:00

That's what I'm calling it, anyway.

I went to my scheduled appointment with the Neurologist on Monday afternoon too see what kind of insight he could give us on these crazy seizures I've been having. After explaining that I was still having seizures even though I was on a very high dose of Anti-Seizure medication (seriously - I was a walking zombie), he opted for me to be placed into the hospital immediately for a week of observation and taken off my meds (WOO HOO!).

My reaction? Blank stare and "You want to put wires in my head? For a WEEK!? But no kids, or house work? Okay, I'm game!"

So I've been hooked up to an EEG machine all week and have been put through two nights of sleep deprivation, forced hyperventilation, and had a strobe light flashed in my face for several minutes. What FUN!! :o) But all of my sweet friends visited me every day and we had a big ole' party Tuesday night to help me stay awake.

It was all worth it because, once again, I got to share Jesus with the people taking care of me and I have now convinced a Pakistani gentleman to come with us to church this weekend with his wife and 2-year-old son. What's even better? They are Hindu! But after watching me and my friends all week and being able to witness to him, he is 'intrigued' (as he put it) about this "Christian life I'm living" and this dude, Jesus that we seem to be so in love with.

HOW AWESOME IS THAT!!!???

I have LOTS of hilarious stories (did you expect less from me?) and even more funny pictures (I was stuck in a bed for a week. alone. with a camera.) that I will be posting later.

Until then, it's great to be home!

10 Simple Pleasures

2006-04-30T15:22:00.000-05:00

Stephanie tagged me on 10 Simple Pleasures I enjoy. I was tagged a few times before I decided to be all "dramatic" and, well, now too much time has passed for it to be as cool and effective. If I can get my brain to work, I will go back and work on those, but until then and while this is fresh, here is my list of 10 Simple Pleasures, or as I'd like to dub them

"10 Simple Pleasures When You're On Seizure Medication and Can't Operate Heavy Machinery or Drive (Or Think Straight) (not that you ever could in the first place, but let's just pretend, mmmkay?)"

1) My amazing friends who have pulled through for prayer, hot meals, come over and helped me clean my house, taken me grocery shopping, listened to me whine on the phone for an hour, sent me fowers, or sent me a funny card to make me smile.

2) My husband. He is my everything. He makes me laugh daily and he reminds me to keep on truckin' and that the Lord has an amazing plan for us and He's going to get us through this hump and we're going to look back and say "WOW! Look at what He has done for us and we deserve NONE of it!" (How about THAT for a run-on sentence?)

3) My kids' smiles. Man, how can you not enjoy a kid's smile? Their sheer joy and innocence and total obliviousness to what's going on around them.

4) Getting to serve at my church every week. Seeing all of the countless families come in and all of the life-change going on and knowing that I have a part in that. I find so much pleasure in that.

5) Naps. When we get home from being up at church ALL DAY LONG on Sundays, Jake and I just collapse on Sunday afternoons. So I find sheer pleasure in naps! Mondays are spent recovering from what we refer to lovingly as the Holy Hangover, but Sundays are spent on the couches napping (in turns! It's Jake's turn right now).

6) Driving!! I can't drive anywhere until I'm seizure-free for six months and, well, I'm still currently having seizures with the latest one Friday night, so it looks like my car will remain in Park for a while.

7) Acting like an idiot with my husband. We have NO SHAME and he makes me almost wet my pants laughing with his antics. We're all about the physical comedy around here and we always try and out-do each other. It's quite a sight. Trust me. Now that I'm home all day, I have plenty of time to think up all kinds of practical jokes to play on my husband. *be afraid Jake*

8) Date night with my sweetie. Sometimes that is all that gets me through my week.

9) A "just because" funny card in the mail box from one of my dearest friends that put a much-needed smile on my face and made me laugh out-loud (Thanks G-Nelly!).

10) LAUGHTER!!!! No matter what is going on in my life, or what is happening, if I can't find some way to laugh, then there is just no point in even getting out of bed. So find something to laugh at!!!! :o) And don't be afraid to laugh at yourself, for goodness sake.

A True 'Minnie Moment'

2006-04-28T08:16:00.000-05:00

As I mentioned, Jake and I went to a big dinner last night at this ginormous house (OH. MY. GOSH. You should have seen this house). If I don't say so myself, I was looking pretty darned sassy donning my new finds from the mall the other night. But I wished I would've been wearing a burkha when it was all over. Just see:

When it was time to head through the food line at the party, the gracious hostess of the GORGEOUS (did I mention OH. MY. GOSH. yet?) home we were invading was standing by and greeting everyone. I walked over, introduced myself, thanked her for having us, complimented her on her home, blabbity, blabbity, blah. She was really nice and sassy, and excitedly said she loved my hair! :o) (All props go to Karen in the hair department!) We chatted for a second and she said something snarky so I laughed through my nose.

That's when I heard the bad horror movie shrieking noises in the back of my mind and everything went in sort of slow motion from that point on.

See, I've been sporting a head cold for the past week, dear internet friends, so my head is full of nothing but snot and ugly green mucus. When I laughed, a huge, and I mean HUGE (that one's for you, GiNelle) ball of snot came barrelling out of my right nostril with a vengeance.

I quickly tried to recover by covering my face with my hands but it was all happening so fast! She politely tried to turn her head from the horror while I attempted to swiftly and discreetly suck back up what had just come flying out of my nose. I literally turned my head toward Jake's shoulder and wished I could bury it in his shirt. Of course the next few minutes were spent making sure I didn't have snot all over my face (you know, along with the egg). She kept the chit-chat going like she hadn't just seen all of that yuck come out of there, but I was praying like I had never prayed before for her to please move along to the people behind us in line and just let me shrivel up and die in peace already.

I now have a most embarrassing story, thank you very much. I have always said that nothing embarrasses me, but I've met my match. 'The time I was introducing myself to the nice lady of the multi-million-dollar home I was attending and blew snot all over my face when she said something snarky'.

Leave it to me.

Just a reminder for us all

2006-04-27T11:39:00.000-05:00

Our husbands don't just wan't these things, they NEED them.

Medicine Head

2006-04-26T11:39:00.000-05:00

Talk about a whirl-wind week! I can't believe it's already Wednesday! This medicine has gotten me ALL jacked up. I have just been spending my days trying to get used to this new "life" of mine and on the phone with doctors offices and hospitals. That is SOME FUN, I tell ya! Plus, I've had some pretty great visitors and phone calls to boot, so not much time for blogging (not that I haven't been thinking of ya'll. Kiss kiss!).

My sweet friends, Lauren and Darlene came over Monday morning and helped me tackle Kale's room and closet that I have been avoiding like the plague for about 6 weeks (now THAT'S friendship!). Then my fabulous neighbor took me to Target so I could get some grocery shopping done in the afternoon (how old lady am I?), and that evening the super-hubs dropped me off at the mall BY MYSELF (are you sooo jealous?) for some alone time with the debit card and the oh-so-fabulous new spring fashions. :o) And the best part? I found the BEST JEANS EVER that I can wear right off the hanger and I don't have to have them altered!!!! It was pure bliss, my friends. Pure bliss. I even gushed at how joyful I was to the girl behind the counter (who, by the way, weighed as much as a twig and was 6 feet tall). She didn't understand my state of euphoria. No, I didn't slap her. Yes, I wanted to. Really badly. But I didn't.

Yesterday my other sweet friend Marni came over with lunch and some home-made body scrub and soap (I guess she thinks I stink) and some great conversation. And even best, last night was Date Night since we've missed out the past few weeks from Granny's visit and my little drama last week. The kids hung out and grubbed down on some pizza over at Dar's house (thanks Dar!) so we could enjoy ourselves. It was so nice to chillax with my sweetie for awhile. Too bad I was hopped up on meds and all foggy-headed. We had dinner at a trendy new bistro and it was really busy, so suffice it to say I was easily distracted by sudden movements and shiny objects (Jake will argue that this is not a side effect from the medicine, but simply one of my many quirks).

Tonight is eyebrow waxing night. Woohoo! No more looking like Brooke Shields in her Calvin Klein days.

Tomorrow night is this big dinner meeting at some big huge house to meet with our pastor and his wife for reasons we're not quite crystal clear on. I'm just in it for the potentially awesome conversation and atmosphere. And getting out of the house (not that I haven't been out of the house at all, but I'm always game for going somewhere).

And then this weekend is our church's Women's Retreat. Our satellite campus is taking a bus to the hotel. Not the short bus, like Jake says they're putting me on, but a really nice, chartered one so we don't have to fight with traffic. And we get to have dinner while we ride. How cool is that? No stress. No fuss, no muss. Just stuffing my face and chatting with the girls.

I keep teasing that I'll be bringing the pitchers of margaritas, because what's a bus ride without margaritas, right? They are totally sweating because they never know if I'm kidding or not. In fact, they don't know WHAT to think of me MOST of the time. Who knows. Maybe I am, maybe I'm not. ;o) I guess we'll all find out when the bus pulls out tomorrow, won't we?

Why can't I just let this go?

2006-04-21T12:17:00.000-05:00

I just don't get it.

Maybe that's a good thing, I guess. I don't know. You tell me.

My dad was 30 minutes away from me when I was in the hospital. He never came to see me. He flew in Wednesday night from MN from a business trip and drove to his hotel in Denton where he had an early morning meeting.

The hospital is 30 minutes from the airport. He could have stopped by and seen me on his way to the hotel.

He called Thursday morning after his meeting on his way home. He said couldn't stop by because he had to get home to pack. For his cruise. That was leaving the next morning.

When I called him out on his selfishness, he had to let me go.

I'm so done with being shit on by my own father.

You Never Know What The Day Is Going To Bring

2006-04-20T15:53:00.000-05:00

This past Tuesday I woke up early and decided that I was going to get showered and ready and get my errands run before lunch time so I could go swimming all afternoon (those of you in cold weather states: don't be hatin'!!). When I woke up I felt a little...funny.

I just need to eat some breakfast I thought. So I made myself two bowls of organic oatmeal with flax seed and honey (it's totally good, so shut up and stop rolling your eyes).

After I ate, Kale wanted to go across the street and play. My friend, Sarah had conversation and coffee ready to go, and I was game, so we sat and talked and I had two cups of coffee while the kids played upstairs. It was about 9:30 and I had promised Jacob I would come to his school and have lunch with him, so I ran across to get that shower I missed earlier.

While in the shower that "funny" feeling wasn't so funny anymore, but since I had just downed two ginormous cups of coffee and I was in a steaming hot shower, I shrugged it off and got out of the shower before I passed out. I quickly got dressed, fixed my hair, and grabbed Kale to go next door to the school to meet our lunch date.

While we were eating I felt like I was about to jump out of my skin. I was shaky, my head was faint, and I felt like I was about to pass out. Still, I shrugged it off to having too much caffeine in my system.

After lunch we said farewell to Jacob and headed out for our errands. We made it to Auto Zone for a windshield wiper replacement for my car and some Skittles (not organic, I know - go ahead and call me a hypocrite) for Kale to keep him happy during the rest of our running.

Our next stop was Ross for a few new warm-weather tops for me. By this time I was not feeling myself at all and decided to get myself a bottle of water from the sporting goods store next door and walk around a bit to see if perhaps it would mysteriously go away.

Well, it didn't. Instead, it got worse. So I called Jake to come get me since I didn't dare get in the car and drive at this point.

At the time I thought maybe my blood sugar levels were out of whack and I was having a diabetic attack or something. So after I called Jake, Kale and I went and sat in the air-conditioned car so I could lay my head back and he could watch a movie. Within 10 minutes my legs and arms were like dead weights, my breathing was labored, I couldn't hold my head up, and my vision was extremely blurry.

Scared, I called Jake and, while on the phone, I passed out. Apparently I was out for several minutes and he was stuck in traffic and helpless. The best part and the part I laugh at? As soon as I lost consciousness, Jake heard Kale say from the back seat, "I have to go potty!" Talk about timing! (Hey! I have to find humor in this somewhere!)

By the time Jake reached me (45-minutes after I called him to come) I couldn't move, couldn't talk, and had passed out a second time. He had to carry me to his truck and from there to the hospital (a 20-minute drive) I passed out at least 6 more times.

Poor Jake! I can just picture it! He's trying to maneuver through heavy Downtown Fort Worth traffic, talk on the phone with the hospital trying to find out where to go and explain what's going on with me, and have me next to him flopping all over the place with my right arm flailing uncontrollably. HA! I would have paid to be a fly on the wall. I'm sure we were a funny sight!

Anywho, he gets me to the ER, they wheel me in and I am still incoherent and in and out of consciousness. I pass out several more times just to show off for the ER staff and they decide to admit me for the night.

Three days in the hospital, another 'episode' last night, countless blood tests, CT scans, MRI's, MRA's, EEG's, and Echo Cardiograms later, I have been diagnosed with having Complex Focal Seizures. I am now the girl that you can ask to hold your milk when you are craving a milk shake. (Just make sure I hold it in my right hand.)

I am home now and on meds. I can't drive for at least two weeks until I follow up with my Neurologist, and I may not be able to drive until I'm seizure-free for 6 months (bleh, bleh, double-bleh!!!).

What's bad? In my groggy, in-and-out-of-consciousness-state, all I could think of was this: "THANK YOU GOD THAT I SHAVED MY LEGS TODAY!!!!!"

What's great? I got to share Jesus with every single nurse and med tech I had.

If it means having to have seizures and be stuck in the hospital to get to do that, then all I have to say is this:

BRING 'EM ON, BABY!!!!!

The Slacker Shows Her Face (well, for a minute anyway)

2006-04-11T08:37:00.000-05:00

I've been enjoying my time with my Granny here, but like all good things, this visit is about to come to an end. I am leaving early in the morning to drive her back to Missouri and I'll be back really late Thursday.

Pray for safe travels!! See you when I return!!

There's A Party Going On In Heaven!!

2006-04-05T17:18:00.000-05:00

WOW! Life has been super crazy this past week!

My Granny is in town visiting, so I have not been on the computer. I am taking advantage of her helping hands in getting some things done around the house. Nothing like a visitor to get you motivated!

So instead of gracing you with my wit and humor, head on over to check out Susan's awesome news and be sure to leave her an encouraging comment. The angels are dancing a jig, and so am I!!!

Whatever Works

2006-03-29T15:57:00.000-06:00

A recent conversation between myself and Kale went a little something like this:

Kale (holding his index finger up in the air): "MOM! I have a booger!"

Me (calling from the other room): "Then get a tissue."

K: "I can't reach them."

M (running toward the box of Kleenex): "I'll get you one"

K: "Never mind. I just wiped it on my shirt."

What's worse? I was totally okay with this.

We're Back...

2006-03-29T12:07:00.000-06:00

Us on Lake Superior in Duluth, MN.

...and I'm pooped.

It was so nice to visit all of Jake's family, but I am glad to be home. My body's schedule is totally out of sorts, and before I will have a chance to get back into my groove I have to jump back in the car for another trip. I'm driving up to Missouri Friday to pick up my Granny to bring her home with me for a visit.

I am in definite need of a slow-down.

Family Matters

2006-03-23T23:51:00.000-06:00

Jake and the boys and I are off to Minnesota on a Red-Eye flight until Monday (bleh - I hate cold weather). Jake's Grandmother isn't doing well, so we're going to go see her and spend some time with her while she's able to visit and enjoy the company. As a bonus, the boys and I get to finally meet the rest of Jake's family.

It's so sad how, in general, we never make it a priority to visit our extended families and it usually takes a tragedy or serious illness to motivate us to drop what we're doing and go see them. Jake and I have been together for over 7 years, and there is still an entire leg of his family that I have never met. The same goes for him as well. In fact, Jake, Jacob and Kale just met my Grandfather this past summer for the first time, and Jacob is even named after him! I also have a slew of relatives back in California that they have never met, either.

We all get so caught up in our own little 'Bubbles' that we lose sight of what is most important. Mostly, I think we take for granted that there will be plenty of chances to get together, when in reality, it's the complete opposite.

This weekend, pick up the phone and reconnect with your loved ones. And if you live close enough, drop by and sit a spell. Forget the errands and the laundry and the sink full of dishes. They'll still be there waiting for you. Your loved ones won't always be.

Kale isn't the only one who is in desperate need of a haircut

2006-03-21T11:47:00.000-06:00

I Heart Play-Doh! The only thing? The mess!! And the squishing of the different colors!! And the tiny dried-up bits that end up on my freshly-mopped floor!!

Then I stumbled upon this glorious Play-Doh creation at Target a while back. It's All Play-Doh Fun, All the Time Sans Mess at the Hart House.

Go grab it. You'll thank me when the kids are playing contently so you can have some peace and quiet already! And the whole set fits neatly into a large zip-lock bag for storage. How about that for a bonus?

Consider Yourselves Warned

2006-03-21T09:19:00.000-06:00

Never, under any circumstances, pretend you are going to bite off your child's nose when it is (unknown to you) full of snot.

I am no longer craving 'something salty'.

"Who are you and what have you done with my wife?" - said by Jake when he got home yesterday

2006-03-18T00:24:00.000-06:00

After getting this, this, this, and ALL of this done (yes - that's right. I said all of it. Pure bliss, my friends. Pure bliss.), I thought surely I could enjoy doing this.

Kale thought otherwise and had me up after 2 minutes.

Seriously. Can a girl sit down for more than TWO MINUTES and just enjoy Oprah already??!! Sheesh!

At least Jake was happy when he came home to a clean house. He just thought he had walked into the wrong one.

Thank You!!!!

2006-03-18T00:07:00.000-06:00

I can't come up with words to describe how humbled I am at the amount of comments, emails, and public praises I've received in regards to my last few posts. I just wanted to say a big huge Thank You for all of the wonderful words of encouragement and love you have all poured out on me. It was difficult at best to step out of my safe spot and be able to be so real and so RAW. As I said, there were things I wrote that I had never told anyone before. I am just so thrilled that some of you were able to find healing in what you read. I certainly did by writing it all out.

Hopefully after the weekend I will have recovered from the coma those posts put me in and I can fill you in on all of the antics around the Hart House this past week. Until then...

All About Me: IV From Orange to White

2006-03-15T07:29:00.000-06:00

You will want to read these first:
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

Moving to Texas was based purely on my economic status. I couldn't afford to move back home to San Diego, and I was NOT staying in Oklahoma (bleh), so I opted for the closest civilization. Plus my Aunt and my dad also lived here, so I knew I would have a support system close if need be.

Back in Oklahoma I had taken up the family business of bar-tending. It's what I knew and what was comfortable. As soon as I was settled in Texas I got a job waiting tables at one establishment donning some very short orange shorts, and a second weekend job at a trendy cigar bar.

My life was wheels-off and I was heading nowhere fast.

I had lost my virginity when I was 14. Yes. 14!!!! I always had sex with my boyfriends, because I thought that was what you were supposed to do to keep them around. By the time I reached Texas, I was a seasoned veteran. And by this time drugs and alcohol (lots and lots of alcohol) were also in the mix. When I wasn't working, I was partying. And sometimes I mixed the two together to liven things up. I was having sex with anything that walked all the while telling myself "It's just sex. It's my body. I'm in control of this."

Fast-forward to age 21. I had been living with a boyfriend for over 2 years. He was a Dallas cop and a complete jerk. He didn't hit me (only because he loved his job too much) but he was really great at thrashing me with his mouth. I finally decided to move out and move on.

God was orchestrating something amazing, and I had no idea.

By this time I had cut down to one job (still donning my orange shorts) and was living in my own apartment. I had been broken up with my boyfriend for a few weeks and had absolutely no intentions of getting involved in another relationship.

So I thought.

One night late in October of 1998 I was working (as usual). A guy comes and sits down at my bar. He's really handsome (okay - unbelievably hot), has a nice smile, some tattoos and earrings, and muscles on top of muscles. My first thought: Big Dumb Meathead.

I get him a beer and start a tab for him. Moments later one of the girls I work with walks up to him and introduces him as her brother. We make small talk and he leaves to take his sister home.

The next night, while working again (I worked too much), in walks Big Dumb Meathead. He sits down at my bar and we start chatting. After getting him drunk, I give up on him asking me out, so I had to do the asking myself.

We had our first date a few days later. After a week of dating, I knew he was "The One", but I always vowed I would never get married and most definitely never have kids. I was simply okay with shacking up with him for the rest of my life (or until he got sick of me and left).

6 weeks after we started dating, with my head in the toilet with uncontrollable vomiting, I realized I was 2 weeks late. LATE!

After regaining my composure and getting my head out of the toilet, I ran down to the corner and bought a home test. It was positive. All I kept thinking was, "Crap! What am I going to do with a kid? I can't be a mother to a baby."

I called Jake to come over and just handed him the test. I was still numb and in shock and I couldn't even talk.

He just got a big, goofy grin and said, "We're going to have a little wrestler!"

Bleh!

Abortion and adoption were never an option, so I knew I only had 9 months to get used to the idea of being a...MOM. I could hardly even say that word. Bleh, Bleh, double Bleh!

It wasn't that I didn't like kids, because I LOVE kids - other people's kids. I never wanted to subject another human being to the kind of life I had been through. Plus, I had NO IDEA how to be a mom. My mom was always at work and I was always left alone or with a sitter. I had no example to go by.

A few weeks later I met Jake's mom for the first time. She had flown down from Pittsburgh for Christmas.

"Hi! I'm Minnie, your son's PREGNANT girlfriend who has only been dating him for 8 weeks! Merry Christmas!"

She was shocked at best. She didn't have much to say. Who could blame her? Her sweet, innocent, All-American boy had fallen prey to a fast, easy harleton who wore orange shorts for a living.

After the shock wore off, we got to know each other and I soon realized how gracious she was and how Jake's ENTIRE family was about to accept me with open arms. I even had a phone shoved in my face with his grandmother on the other end congratulating me on our upcoming arrival. It was too much for me to handle. Did people really behave this way? Where was the screaming and fighting and antics? Where were the slamming doors and "I'll never speak to you again" vows?

The following month was my 22nd birthday. Jake took me out for dinner and when we got home he proposed. All I kept thinking was "No! I can't get MARRIED! I'm already PREGNANT. Why do you want to make it worse and get MARRIED!?"

But I didn't say the things that were flying through my over-loaded brain. Instead I smiled and accepted, but planned to put him off as long as possible. What was the point of a piece of paper? It would just end up getting ripped up anyway.

Fast-forward 8 months to August 17, 1999 when my life changed forever. My son, Jacob came barrelling into my life with a vengeance.

What was this wet stuff coming out of my eyes? What was this thumping in my chest? What was this feeling going on in my gut? Was it....emotion? Love? FEELINGS?!

I never expected to fall in love so hard and so instantly with that 8-pound ball of rolls and fat. But I did. Completely and without hesitation.

After Jacob was born there was this "empty spot" that I had never felt before. I had a great relationship with Jake, a beautiful new healthy baby, a nice house, two new cars in the driveway, and I made really great money at my job. I didn't understand what could be missing.

Jake knew what the "empty spot" was. He said we needed to find a church.

HA! Yeah, RIGHT! I'm not darkening the doorway of a church so I can rub elbows with a bunch of hypocrites and get looked down upon by all of those 'goody-goodies'. No thank you.

But he was insistent, so I gave in.

Over the next few weeks we visited a few churches that met my every expectation. I was bored, people looked down their noses at me; it was a colossal waste of time. I could be sitting at Blue Mesa sipping on all-you-can-drink Mimosas and grubbing down on Sunday brunch right now!

Then, of all places to hear about church, I overheard a girl at work going on and on about this church she had been going to (yes - girls who wore orange also went to church and raised families and led good, clean lives. Just not me.). She was talking about the awesome band and music, and you could show up in your jeans and flip-flops, and the pastor was COOL! I interrupted her conversation and asked where this place was. It was only 15 minutes from my house!

That Sunday as we walked in this huge building, I was awe-struck. This was a church? But it's so cool and contemporary. Then we walked through the doors of the worship center. WOAH! The service had just started. They were singing a Police song! There were lights! Auditorium seating! People with tattoos and piercings mingled in with the normal 'curchy' people!

I had no choice but to sit back and listen to what they had to say, because every preconceived notion I ever had of 'church' had just been blown right out of the water.

We came back. And kept coming. But I still didn't 'get it'. I still had no idea who Jesus Christ REALLY was. I knew he was some dude that died on a cross a long time ago, but that's as far as it went. My heart had been so hardened that all of the preaching about Him had fallen on deaf ears. I was still partying and going out after work. I still wasn't married.

Then we went to a Newcomer's Membership class early in 2000. One of the pastors, Tracy Barnes, was talking about God and how He knows all about us because He created us, and He wants to have a relationship with us. But we can't do that until we accept His Son, Jesus into our lives.

I was still not getting it. To me, it was something for 'good people'. I certainly was not worthy. I had made too many mistakes in my life.

Then they had an information card you had to fill out. One line of questioning stated: "Tell us your story" and it had about three lines under it.

They want me to tell them my life story on three little lines? SKIP!

They had several counselors come over to everyone and go over any questions, etc. Mine was a nice man with red hair and a gentle voice. He read over my information card and said, "Oh, you can't leave this blank."

"Well what am I supposed to write?"

"We want to know the story of when you accepted Christ."

I was still not getting it. "Accepted Him for what?"

Clearly he had an idiot before him, but he never for an instant made me feel that way. He explained to me that God wanted me to have a personal relationship with Him through His Son. He had sent His Son to live a sinless life and die - for me.

ME!? Oh no, you see, I'm not a good person. You don't understand.

It didn't matter what I had done, or even what I was going to do, he explained. God wanted me where I was and He wanted to forgive all of my sins; past, present, and future.

So I prayed with him for God to take my life in His hands.

But I still didn't really get it. We left and were walking to the car and the tears just started coming and they wouldn't stop and I had NO IDEA WHY! Jake thought I had gone crazy. He had no idea that I had just prayed to receive Christ. He wasn't the only one who didn't have a clue as to what was going on.

A few months later my fear of the marriage thing was gone and I took the plunge into marital bliss.

All About Me: 3.0 (are you getting sick of ME yet?)

2006-03-13T23:50:00.000-06:00

For my entire childhood growing up, I was an only child to a single mother. We moved around a lot. In fact, I can't remember how many schools I went to during my elementary years. Before writing these posts, I had always thought I had moved from Missouri to San Diego when I was really little, but after researching it, I came to realize that I was much older. Like 8 years old.

That may not seem like a huge revelation to you, but it was for me. It put into perspective how much I have blocked out or put into hibernation in my brain. It has always bothered me that I haven't been able to remember much from my childhood, but I think I realize now that it was a defence mechanism that kicked in so I could just survive.

Anyway, as I was saying, we moved around. In fact, on average, we moved to a different house / apartment / trailer every six months or so. My mom never owned anything of her own. We never lived in anything nice or big. To put it into perspective, one of my old bedrooms when I was a teen was as big as my closet is now in my house. I had a daybed and a small chest of drawers, and that only left about 18 inches of space to walk around in. Literally. But I never thought twice about it and I was never embarrassed to bring people home. Our places may have been small or humble, and even run down at times, but our place was always clean and well-kept.

So we moved from Missouri to San Diego when I was 8. My happiest memories are from there. And who could blame me? There was no imminent threat of an abuser, I had my mom all to myself - no boyfriends to share her with, and we lived an insanely short distance from the beach.

When I was 11, my mom reconciled with her second husband from Missouri (they had married when I was little and divorced when I was 4). He wanted her to move to Kansas where he was living at the time, but she wanted to move to Texas. Kansas was too small for her, and Texas was too big for him, so they met in the middle - literally. We ended up moving to Owasso, Oklahoma. I was thrilled (NOT!). Not only was my mom reconciling with her drunk, truck-driving ex-husband, but she was moving me from beautiful, sunny San Diego to Butt Crack Oklahoma.

Needless to say I didn't settle so well with the move.

My mom was an amazing woman, though. She was a bartender and she regularly held two and three jobs to make ends meet. On top of her jobs, she managed to take care of all of our cattle and horses we maintained on our land, as well as toting me back and forth to the ice skating rink before and after school every day. If that weren't enough, she also managed to head to the library every two weeks and bring home a stack of 4 or 5 books to which she would read each one in it's entirety by the time the due date would roll around.

When my mom was 33, she was diagnosed with breast cancer. I was floored, but didn't really fully understand the gamut of the whole situation. She had a full mastectomy on her left breast and underwent the routine chemo treatments. All while continuing her heavy work load.

She went into remission and soon after we moved out of the place we were living with my step-dad. The reconciliation lasted all of about 2 years. He was SOOOO worth leaving San Diego for.

Back on our own again, life went on.

2 years later, just after I turned 16, my mom kept battling this ongoing stint with bronchitis (or so that's what the doctors were saying it was). After two months of dealing with a bad cough, she found out her cancer had returned, but this time it had spread into her lungs and into her lymph system.

Her doctors gave her 18 months.

She refused to go through chemo again, so she opted for experimental treatments in Scottsdale, AZ. My Grandfather (her dad) took care of the medical expenses and travel and did everything he could to keep her alive.

We found out in March that the cancer had returned and by June she was gone.

I was devastated. I was pissed off at God (REALLY pissed off at God. In my mind, how cruel was He to take away the only person I had?) I was pissed off at her. I was pissed off at everyone around me, including myself for not making the most of what little time we had left together. I took for granted that my mom would always be there for me. I took her for granted and never told her how much I appreciated her and everything she ever did for me; for all of the countless sacrifices she made for me.

After her funeral, my dad asked me to move in with him. I just kind of laughed and gave him the "Are you serious?" look. Instead, my mom's cousin, Sandy and her husband, took guardianship over me and I moved in with them for the next year.

Having grown up always being by myself and fending for myself with no rules or boundaries and being able to come and go as I pleased, it was completely difficult (to say the least) to move into a home with rules and structure and a traditional family order in place.

I lived with them through my junior year of high school and moved out on my own during my senior year.

In an unconscious attempt at avoiding my own problems, I took on the problems of my boyfriend, Brian. He was from a broken home and had been abused his whole life. His dad had kicked him out of the house for being caught with drugs. That was the real reason for the move. So he could have a place to stay and I could support him. I worked two jobs and finished high school while he dropped out, took up dealing (and using) Crystal Meth and Weed, and became extremely violent and abusive over the next year.

I survived being thrown down a flight of stairs head-first, having one of those old, metal, stream-line phones smashed into the side of my head repeatedly, having a gun held to my head, waking up on several occasions to him trying to smother me with a pillow, and the usual beatings where he would punch me, kick me, smash my face into the carpet, and toss me against the walls.

The final straw was being punched in the stomach repeatedly in an attempt to cause me to have a miscarriage. He was successful.

I moved out, leaving him homeless, and got an apartment with a roommate. But after too many threats, one too many nights of coming home to find him hiding in the bushes outside of my apartment, and a very scary occurrence of walking in my apartment to find an extremely large knife sticking in my couch cushion, I decided to move to Texas.

All About Me: Part Deux

2006-03-13T11:08:00.000-06:00

After my parents divorced, my dad soon moved back to Texas when I was about 4. I don't remember much about him moving, just that I missed him tremendously and I felt a huge sense of abandonment.

When I was 6, he remarried and a few months later they had their first of three kids. As I have stated before, my step-mom and I have never had a healthy relationship. She has always treated me with a sense of resentment and has never made me feel welcomed or comfortable around her. The same goes for her family as well (with the exception of one sister who has always been warm and loving toward me). I guess I was always an annoying little reminder that my dad had a past; that she wasn't his first true love.

I do have to consider where she was coming from, though, because in recent years I have come to find out that she has been compared to my mom by my dad's family members from day one. She and my dad have been married almost 25 years, and she is still compared to my mom, so I guess the ability to NOT hold resentment toward me was difficult for her, to say the least.

Nonetheless, the way my dad and step-mom have always carried themselves where I was concerned has been painful for me at best. I got to see my dad once a year and that entire visit was never spent alone with my dad or even hanging out as a "family". I always felt like an outsider in their home. Never part of them. And as I got older, I was pretty much their built-in babysitter when I would visit, thus causing my resentment and hatred toward my half-siblings to increase.

As the years passed, I dreaded my annual visits because it was always a huge slap in the face for me that my dad had chosen to move on and start over with his 'new family' leaving me behind to fend for myself. I in no way doubt that my dad loved me, but he certainly did not have the capability to show emotion toward me because of how much pain and difficulty came along with it. So rather than drudging up years full of painful feelings, he basically shut down towards me. It was almost like all or nothing with him. His new family got the 'all' and I got the 'nothing'.

The straw that broke the proverbial camel's back for me was when I was around 15. My mom was in her second battle with breast cancer, this time a losing one. My dad was fully aware of her condition and imminent death. I was working two jobs while going to school so we could pay rent, because my mom could obviously not work. Not once did my dad call to check on me. Not once did he drive up to visit. I only lived a three-and-a half hour drive from him.

To this day, that is still a hard pill for me to swallow, especially now that I am a mother. It was proof that he had completely cut off all emotion toward me. After that, I was done. I wanted nothing to do with him.

Years passed with countless other disappointments and hurt feelings. When I was 18 I stopped contacting him and when I moved I never told him how he could reach me. Several months later (maybe even a year - I'm not quite sure on the time frame) he tracked me down and we had a long, much-needed hashing out over the phone. They had spent my life holding my actions against me, even though I was a child, and I had spent my life building a wall of resentment and pain toward them.

That's what amazes me. Not one of my parents ever looked at me and saw a child. They never looked at me and saw a little girl that they needed to protect. I have never been able to understand that. But I digress...

Eventually we made amends and have been able to forgive and move on. Today we have a good relationship and we talk often. There are still issues that arise on a regular basis due to things that are said and done on my step-mom's part. And as my siblings grow, there are always those constant reminders of how differently my dad treated me. Things that I was not able to have out of spite, they are freely given, and so on. But as I grow in my walk with Christ, I am able to just walk away from those situations and not let them consume me any longer. I have realized that yes, in fact, things are going to be different for them, and that's okay.

Once again, I just have to have complete forgiveness and pity upon my dad and step-mom for their actions and let God take care of the rest. He has a tremendous plan for my life and carrying these things with me would only sabotage it.

All About Me: Part 1

2006-03-13T00:40:00.000-06:00

My mom and dad grew up in the same small town in South-West Missouri. They dated the entirety of their senior year and got married the following December after graduation at the ripe old ages of 18. Thirteen months later on January 22, 1977, along came me. Eighteen months after that, they were divorced.

I know. You never would have seen that one coming. You're overwhelmed with shock and awe at my storytelling. Just try to suck it up so we can move along, kay?

Where was I? Oh, yes, the shocking revelation that my parent's marriage fell apart.

So my mom was a bit on the rough side. A real spit-fire and a force to be reckoned with if you crossed her. She was one of those naturally drop-dead gorgeous people that could look completely stunning even at her worst. And the best part was, she had no idea how pretty she was. Her only downfall - she was born without the "Mother Gene".

Here she was, 20-years-old, divorced, with a kid to take care of. She had no time or patience to deal with a kid, so in her eyes the best way to handle the situation was to treat me like an adult. She was a newly-single mother who now had to work two jobs to make the ends come close to meeting, so I got left with my Grandmother and my mom's Step-Dad all the time.

This is where my drama starts.

My Grandma also worked all the time, so when she had to go to work, I was left in the loving care of my mother's Step-Dad, Ed.

Over the years, from as far back as I can remember, he thought it would be a grand idea to molest and rape me on an on-going basis. I was handed the all-too-common cowardly line of "Don't tell anyone. This is our little secret. If anyone finds out, they'll be mad at you and they won't love you anymore." So, I kept my mouth shut. My whole life, in fact. My husband was the first one I shared my dirty little secret with.

I have stopped trying to understand what it is that would possess a person to do such horrific things to an innocent child. I will never understand why a grown man who is supposed to love me would make me perform sexual acts for him at the age of 3, 4, 5, and so on. Why he would force me to look at graphic pornographic material and make me copy the things the women in the magazines were doing. He even made up fun games like Kissing His Pee Pee - that one was my favorite.

I remember a time when I was about 4 or 5. I guess my mom had started taking me to daycare part time. During nap time, they had us all spread around the room lying on cots. Keep in mind, I had no idea that what was being done to me was wrong. I thought it was what grandpas and grand-daughters did. I also had been made to think that masturbating was okay as well. Well, needless to say, I had to endure the humiliation of being caught masturbating with myself on my cot and being subjected to a horrible scolding from a teacher, all the while not understanding why I was even in trouble. My Grandpa was the one that picked me up from daycare that day. As we were pulling in the driveway I told him what had happened. He, of course, made sure I didn't tell anyone Our Little Secret. When he was assured our secret was safe, he made me demonstrate what I was doing when I got in trouble.

A fine, upstanding, Christian man, huh?

As I got older, and as the abuse continued, my little mind was warped and confused. I have memories of experimenting things with my friends when I was as young as 6 or 7. At that age you are just starting to discover your body. I had been so brainwashed that I thought there was nothing wrong with showing my girlfriends what the ladies in the magazines were doing, and wouldn't it be a fun game to do that, too? Even as I write it, I am still shocked that it's me I'm talking about. It almost feels at this point like it was just a bad dream, but, unfortunately, it wasn't.

I don't know how no one clued in on what was going on. I guess I never really showed any signs to anyone, and even if I did, they probably just brushed them off and never thought twice about it.

After Jacob was born, all of those memories that I had stuffed away in a vault somewhere came forcing back like an out-of-controll freight train. I summoned up enough courage to tell my Grandmother when Jacob was about 10 months old. She, of course, was quick to ask me if I could just forgive him so she could go on living her life as if nothing had ever happened. I was also asked to please keep it a secret, and if I had just told her sooner, then she would have been able to leave him and support herself. But now that she was unable to do that, she would have to stay with him because she just couldn't afford to live on her own at this age.

Two years ago this coming May I was able to face him after years of not speaking. At that beautiful moment, God helped me to forgive him and let go of all the pain I had been carrying around with me my whole life. Here he was, reduced to nothing more thn a shruken, frail, little man. All of the pain and turmoil I had allowed him to cause my marriage, because I could no longer stand to be touched without feeling dirty or violated, was finally lifted from me. The feeling of having o keep it a secret to protect my grandmother is gone. I have long ago told her that I would not allow her to make me keep it inside. That made her nothing more than an abuser herself. I am still not free of many of my issues that have been caused by so many years of abuse, but I am well on my way to a complete healing. Ed is by no means able to see my children, but I certainly have no hatred in my heart for him. Instead, I have nothing but pity for the man. Nothing I try to do or say to him to gain revenge will ever amount to the level of consequence God has to offer him. So I hand it over to Him on a regular basis. Sometimes daily. That's the only thing I have the power to do. Everything else is in God's control.

The Break Is Over, Now Open Up The Floodgates

2006-03-13T00:08:00.000-06:00

So I took a break. A much-needed one. Not because I have drama or anything, but I have just felt completely exhausted lately. Never-mind the obvious reasons why I would be feeling overly-fatigued: husband, kids, house, ministry, blah, blah, blah. There's more to it. I keep contemplating asking God what it may be, but I'm terrified to because I know that as soon as I do He's going to open this huge flood gate and all of this crap I have locked away nice and safe is going to come oozing out at break-neck speed.

Okay, so maybe I have some idea of what my problem may be, but I really don't feel like dealing with dramatics right now. I feel like stomping my feet on the ground and screaming "I don't wanna! I don't wanna, wanna, wanna!!" Because, well? I'm pretty content with hanging out with my family right now issue-free. If that's wrong, then I don't want to be right.

God has been prompting me to share some things for several months, but I have, of course, been arguing with Him as to why that is necessary. In true Minnie form, I have argued until I've reached the point of exhaustion, so I am giving up and giving in to His promptings. I am letting down my guard and sharing things I have never shared before. I still don't see the relevancy, but I know God has a reason for His INSESTANT NAGGING ALREADY! :o)

So sit back, grab a good cup of coffee, and spend the week getting to know All About Me. I'm going to be learning things right along with you. Oh! The fun we're going to have. I can hardly wait. (I hope you know I'm totally saying this with clenched teeth.)

I have one rule, though. I don't do so well with gushy, so take it easy on me with the comments. If something I say has helped you in some way, or if God has spoken to you through me, then great. Let me know. But promise me you will not poor out pity or tell me how sorry you are for me. God orchestrated my life to happen the exact way it did, and I know His plans are perfect. I am not sorry for anything that has happened in my life, and neither should anyone else.

That said, here we go.

*So as soon as I wrote out the title, the sky just opened up and it started POORING DOWN RAIN outside. How freaky is that?

Taking A Break

2006-03-07T07:55:00.000-06:00

Things at the Hart House have gotten out of balance as of late, so I am taking a short blogging break to get back in the groove of what's important and what's not-so-important.

Of course, if something funny happens or if I have something profound to say, I'll be sure to post.

Until then...

Grab a tissue and prepare yourself for a little lesson in conviction, humility, and truly "Loving Thy Neighbor"

2006-02-27T10:18:00.000-06:00

I did have a few things to share today, but nothing I have to say can top this story over at She Lives. Take a looksie:

She's Got a Housekeeper - Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

There is nothing like having friends that build you up

2006-02-22T16:40:00.000-06:00

I was just on the phone with my friend Lauren directing her to my blog. Upon seeing my 'Avatar' person on the side bar, she exclaims, "Look! It's you!!....Except she has boobs."

Thanks, Laur. I'm feeling all warm and cozy.

Am I Bill Murray in "Groundhog Day"?

2006-02-22T15:42:00.000-06:00

I felt like I was experiencing DeJa Vu (sp?), but clearly I wasn't. How was I sure? Well, I AM wearing the same hoody sweater I've been wearing all week, and my hair is still hidden underneath Jake's Stealer's hat, but I'm pretty certain that I have slept since Kale's last attempt at sneaking snacks from the kitchen.

"But MOOOOOM! I meed a twizwer!"

No matter how high I place the goodies, he still manages to reach them. It's all Monkey, all the time around here.

Note to Jake: YES, Kale is hanging out in his underwear, and YES he is wearing the same sweatshirt he was wearing yesterday. Let the hissy fit commence now, so by the time you get home you will have calmed down.

What is it with kids and boxes?

2006-02-22T15:29:00.000-06:00

They also have the box the TV came in that serves as their "Clubhouse". I could have saved so much money on toys if I had known this little fact beforehand.

A shout out to my funny friend, Cathy. Holla!

2006-02-22T09:49:00.000-06:00

My dear, sweet, VERY FUNNY friend, Cathy has started her new blog: Take Captive Every Thought. And be sure to read her bio. It is just a taste of how zany and crazy she is.

Her first post is nothing short of amazing! Get ready to laugh and cry at the same time:
Some day, this is all going to make sense

In Your Face, majormoments!!!!

2006-02-21T16:07:00.000-06:00

This one is especially for "majormoments", ahem, Jake, as proof that today is NOT pajama day again. The picture from my last post was taken just after breakfast this morning - AT 8:30!!!! Ladies, are you feeling what I live with? Just a little?

All I have to say is Paybacks Are Coming, my friend!!!! Be afraid. Be very afraid.

The Queen Bee and Mr. Sly

2006-02-21T13:22:00.000-06:00

Earlier as I was on the computer in my office, I heard the office door gently close behind me. Soon after I heard the sounds of a stool being pushed across the tile floor in the kitchen. This sound is never good. It means Kale is trying to obtain something he is not supposed to ordinarily have unless he has received expressed permission from the Queen Bee (that would be me).

My son thinks he is Mr. Sly.

I sneak up to peak around the corner and find him like this (thank you, Lord, for having the camera right next to me!).

As if I wouldn't later notice the bright red stain around his mouth that was soon to come from the Push Pop he was trying to sneak. But I guess his philosophy is 'Better to ask for forgiveness than permission'.

And, Yes, I went ahead and let him have his Push Pop. He DID go through all of the trouble to get it.

Killing You With A Dagger of Cuteness

2006-02-20T16:39:00.000-06:00

Kale and I were doing crafts together (no, I am not running a fever) and he decided that gluing everything to paper just wasn't cool enough, so instead he decided that his face and hands would be a perfect canvas.

15-minutes after we had finished, this is how I found him.

Let the ooohs and awwws ensue.

This is the part where Jake will take my blogging humor seriously

2006-02-20T03:15:00.000-06:00

Yesterday I told the kids we could spend today having a 'Pajama Party Day' since Jacob will be out of school.

My husband, the one who thinks you should NEVER go outside without shoes and that little boys shouldn't hang out in the house with just underwear on, looks at me and ensues the beloved eye-rolling.

I can already guess what's going on in his little brain.

My suspicions are confirmed:

Jake: "Well, I can already tell tomorrow is going to be a productive day." (DRENCHED in sarcasm)

Me (not out-loud, but to myself with a snicker): Ummm. Okay. Tell me how this will be any different from every other day...

**Just a JOKE, Jake!! I love you!!!!!!! I'm going to do some laundry now, just for you. :o) (Okay, and for me, too. I'm almost out of clean underwear.) But after the laundry I'm going back to the couch and finishing my Bon-Bons.

Days to Come: Crash

2006-02-20T02:14:00.000-06:00

Jeana, over at Days to Come (one of my new favorite blogs - she's so FUNNY and has a white-hot fire for Christ to boot) wrote an amazingly eloquent post that's a must-read for us all. Go check it out: Crash

Look! A post that actually coinsides with the name of my blog!

2006-02-20T00:14:00.001-06:00

After attending my nephew's birthday party on Saturday, I got in the truck after everyone was loaded in. When I was geting in, I realized my niece, Kayla, was in the back seat.

Me: "Oh, I didn't realize Butt-Head was coming home with us." (She's my girl. I use 'Butt-Head' lovingly toward her, so no hate mail.)

Jake: "Dear, I live with you. Of course I'm coming home with you."

Hey! He said it, I didn't.

******************************

Jake and I are ministry leaders (scary, huh?) at our church, so we have to get up at the crack of crack every Sunday to be at the church to get set up in time. Kale was completely disinterested in getting up this morning (or should I say yesterday morning, with it being after midnight and all), but can you really blame the kid? I am NOT a morning person and I highly value my sleep, and so does Kale. Jacob is like his dad and gets up when it's still dark (PHSYCHO!), while Kale and I love to hide under the covers until about 9:00. This particular morning he was highly irritated that we dare try to remove him from his puppy dog dreams and Mom and Dad's fluffy down comforter (sly dog likes to sneak in our bed in the middle of the night ~ like we're not going to notice little heals and elbows jabbing in our backs and ribcages).

While Jake was trying to brush Kale's teeth and comb his out-of-control fro', the following conversation ensued:

(Kale, with a foced frowny-, pouty-face, sitting on the counter with his arms sternly crossed while successfuly blocking Jake's every attempt at combing the fro' and killing the cavity bugs)

Jake: "Kale, are you on a mission to just be difficult today?"

Kale, in a stern, frustrated voice: "Yes!" (trying his hardest to maintain his stern face and NOT smile)

(laughter from the parentals)

I've been trying to convince Jake of Kale's mission in life for some time. Finally! I have been validated!

***************************

Jacob's household job is feeding the dogs twice a day (I know. He's got it rough. Go ahead and call CPS and report me for child abuse). While standing in the laundry room filling their bowls, we hear him from the kitchen conjuring up this forced, squeeky, "I've Lost My Voice" act he's about to try out on us.

Jacob (in a faint whisper / squeek): "Doooooogs. Diiinnnner."

(Insert Jake and I looking at each other and rolling our eyes and grinning)

Jacob (in his regular, really loud-and-clear voice): "Mom and Dad! I think I'm losing my voice!"

Yeah. In my dreams.

Take Me To The Zoo!

2006-02-17T06:23:00.000-06:00

Kale and I joined some friends at the Ft. Worth Zoo Wednesday since it was 80-degrees outside and Wednesdays are 1/2-price day. *Although, even with our admission being 1/2-price, I still forked over an arm and a leg. What ever happened to the zoo being an affordable outing? Shelly made the same point a while back as well, so I know I'm not alone in my grumbling.

Aside, we had a great time and I'm SO glad we decided to go because it went from being 85-degrees yesterday to 36-degrees today with expected sleet and rain. Ahhh! Texas weather! Gotta love it!

Amazing Photography

2006-02-16T12:43:00.000-06:00

I stumbled on this site a few months ago. This woman's photography is nothing short of amazing. Go check it out.

A Walk Through Durham Township, Pennsylvania

Sunday Evening Snuggle Bugs

2006-02-14T12:05:00.000-06:00

Who are you calling 'Obsessed'?

2006-02-14T12:00:00.000-06:00

More Marvelous Marble Magnets!! I gave most of them away to our volunteers for Valentine's Day.

Then? Get this ~ Last night I realized a ton of them had bad magnets and didn't stick to anything. How dumb am I going to look when these poor people try to stick their fabulous magnets to the fridge and it just kerplunks to the ground?

*sigh*

You can just call me Martha

2006-02-14T10:27:00.000-06:00

After finally finding someone who still had sweatshirts in stock, I got Jacob's Horse costume made in less than an hour. I'm a crafting genius (NOT!). Click on the pic for more 1st Grade musical fun.

For all of you who tell me I don't act my age, I have this to say: "Nanny Nanny Boo Boo, Stick Your Head In Doo Doo!"

2006-02-13T15:36:00.000-06:00

I actually act my age!! Who would've thought? Even I was shocked at the revelation.

You Are 29 Years Old

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.

13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.

20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!

40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

A visit from Johnny Drama (and MeMa came, too) all the way from Tulsa

2006-02-09T11:10:00.000-06:00

Jacob had his first wrestling tournament last Saturday, so his MeMa drove down from Tulsa to cheer him on.

Of course, all of the attention went to her 2 1/2 lb. ball of cuteness, J.D. (Johnny Drama). He weighs less than our dogs' tongues, so it was a huge change having such a little dog in the house. I was constantly worried about stepping on him for fear of crushing him. The kids absolutely loved him (how couldn't they?). It was a continuous battle over who was going to hold him or play with him or take him into the "Club House" (giant TV box).

Thanks to his visit, my long-anguished-over desire for a French Bulldog has only increased by a thousand percent.

Stop me now before I turn into the stereotypical Soccer Mom

2006-02-09T10:44:00.000-06:00

If you know me at all, you know that I am NOT CRAFTY! No crafts in this house, my friends. BUT! I am a very frustrated artist. So I always have those urges for creating things, but I only want them to be COOL, not CRAFTY. Are you with me?

My creative urges have been fulfilled at last. Feast your eyes on the coolest magnets known to all mankind.

This is the first set I made the other night. I have now mastered the art of Marble Magnet Making and I'm working on some Super-Fabulous new ones. If you play your cards right, you just might get some as a gift. (Sucking up is welcome. The more the better.)

For tips and instructions on making your own, go here. Hobby Lobby was the only place I found the needed supplies (notmartha found hers at Michael's, but the locations here did not carry them).

Tales from Schmoozville, where Kale is Mayor

2006-02-09T09:31:00.000-06:00

Did you guys miss me? It has been an insane few weeks and I have barely had time to sit down for even a few minutes to check email, let alone catch up on blogging.

So many funny things have happened, but they were the things that were only funny at the time. When I went to write them down ~ not so funny.

Anywho ~ on with the show...

I am raising a schmooze. He gets it from his dad, but he is like his dad on super-strong steroids. A few examples:

Kale has a really gruff voice, but when he first wakes up he sounds like a smoker. While trying to get him dressed the other morning the following conversation ensued:

Me: You're cute.

Kale (in his gruffy just-woke-up voice): Yeah. I'm cute.

(pauses and has a serious "I'm thinking" face)

Nods and says "I'm definitely cute."

*********************

Yesterday after Jake got home from work, we were all piled in our bed horsing around. Kale wedged his way in between Jake and I and put one arm around Jake and the other around me. He gives us both a big bear hug and leans back to look at us with the cute, smooshy, charming face he does so well and says, "I love you guys." The prospective "awwws" from his parents follow. Then comes "You guys are great".

What a suck-up!!!!!

What a trooper!

2006-02-02T08:59:00.000-06:00

Kale braved over 3 hours at the mall with me and NO FITS! NO TANTRUMS! Why yes, I think that kid deserved some new shoes!

And so did his mom. Aren't they gorgeous?! Who knew Jessica Simpson made shoes, too? Call her stupid all you want, but that girl is laughing all the way to the bank.

I've come to a sad, sad realization

2006-02-02T08:51:00.000-06:00

I really suck at this whole 'House Wife' thing.

Case in point.

So for those of you out there feeling defeated right along with me, you're not alone. I am, of coarse, assuming that I'm not the only one who is living in the land of Not Domestic But Trying To Be Anyway. If I'm completely wrong, then don't tell me. I sort of like my little fantasy world.

Add Some Witty Humor to Your To-Do List

2006-01-27T08:54:00.000-06:00

Melissa over at Suburban Bliss has made some Uber Awesome notepads for our personal enjoyment. I have even purchased a few (okay, so I bought 6). So go feast your eyes on her clever craftiness! The 'Frenchie' ones are my favorite. Be sure to read the English translations at the bottom of the pages.

'Girl Meets God' and 'Night'

2006-01-23T18:34:00.000-06:00

I bought myself 'Night' by Elie Wiesel Friday night. A little pre-birthday present from myself just in case my real presents were disappointing.** I have only sat down to read it twice so far, but I can already tell you that this is my new favorite book. I will even be so bold as to say that I think this should be required reading for everyone. It is the most gripping, gut-wrenching book I have ever read. Like I said, I have only sat down twice to read it but I'm already almost done with it. It's such an easy read and only 144 pages long.

My very good friend, Darlene (who by the way is abandoning me to move to Phoenix and I am demanding she start a blog of her own so I can still feel like I'm part of her life when she's gone) just gave me 'girl meets god' by Lauren Winner for my birthday present (along with a mini creme brulee and some yummy focaccia bread - she knows I have a disturbing love of food). I need to hurry up and finish 'Night' so I can get started on this new one. I'm so excited!!! (Thanks, Dar!!!)

**They actually rocked, surprisingly. My friend, Cathy gave me some really cool stationary (I LOVE funky stationary), my friend Corrie gave me a wicked cool cross for the house, and Jake gave me the Sonicare toothbrush I've been dying to get since they came out.

Never, under any circumstance, leave me alone with a camera after I've downed a triple-shot latte'

2006-01-22T01:26:00.000-06:00

Yes, sweet internet, this is how I rang in my birthday. Don't be hatin'.

I need help. Seriously.

A Very Merry Un-Birthday to Me!

2006-01-21T23:30:00.000-06:00

Tomorrow is the first day of my final year as a 20-something. Bleh. Do you think if I hide in the closet or just pretend it's not my birthday that it just won't come and I won't ever have to turn 30? Not that 30 is bad, but there is something about leaving your 20's that is totally and completely frightening to me. Almost paralyzing.

Maybe it's the blatant fact that I am no longer cool and I have to be an official grown-up. To me, that's cause enough to run and hide.

Jake took me to his boss' restaurant for the best sushi I have ever had in my life - seriously - THE BEST!!!! It's an Asian-Fusion restaurant in Arlington called Xouba. It's just off 157 in the building where Fox & Hound used to be.

While we were eating, a party of 25 or so people were seated near us. I'm a huge people watcher, so I was quick to take notice of the charismatic ladies in the party. All were over the age of 40, but none of them wanted to admit it, much less face it. They all had been 'augmented' (which I totally do not look down upon, but just because you have big fake boobs doesn't mean you have to dress like a stripper), they all were dressed from the Jr's section of the department store, and they were all completely absorbed in themselves and their appearances.

That's when it hit me. I am terrified of turning 30 because I want to be able to still dress cute and trendy without it being inappropriate for my age. I'm afraid of turning into a card-carrying frump. I am nothing less than a future version of these caddy, plastic women. I'm going to be one of those 40-something moms that still tries getting away with wearing the denim mini-skirts and Uggs thinking I look totally cute, all the while looking like a complete moron because I don't want to admit that I'm just too old to dress like the cool kids. *If any of you EVER catch me wearing a mini-skirt or Uggs, shoot me on the spot. That's an order.

Upon my epiphany there was only one thing I could do. Order dessert. My OWN dessert - no sharing.

Girl's Night Out

2006-01-21T17:42:00.000-06:00

I had a MUCH NEEDED Girl's Night Out last night with the divas from our Home Team. We went to Sundance Square in Fort Worth for dinner, Starbucks and a comedy show at Four Day Weekend. My gut hurts from laughing so hard.

Look, Kirsten! You're famous! :o)

Admitting You Have A Problem Is The First Step To Recovery

2006-01-21T16:26:00.000-06:00

Can you hear that? That's the sound of me yanking out my hair and banging my head against my desk (well, really it's a Rubbermaid folding table. My desk broke in the move, but let's just pretend. Mmmkay?) It's also the sound of me going into spastic convulsions and foaming at the mouth.

"Over What?" you say.

Since Wednesday evening our Router has been out, thus forcing me to be disconnected from the internet. I know. You're gasping at the horror. The mere thought of not having 24/7 access to the internet is just an atrocity you probably don't even want to picture, let alone GO through.

You never know how dependant you are on something until you have to go without it for a while. I had my first taste of this when I kicked my crack habit, so I knew what to expect somewhat (I KID! No hate mail, please).

Let me just say, OH. MY. I had no idea what I was going to do if I couldn't check my email (which, by the way, I had over 60 emails in my box and about 30 that had to be answered - YIKES!). If I couldn't stop by my favorite blogs to see the amazingly witty things they had to say that day.

By the end of the day Thursday I had a tick in my eye and I found myself babbling uncontrollably. I would walk by my office and just gaze at the computer through the windows on the doors with a longing that was almost unbearable. I just stood there with my face and hands squished against the glass, my breath making little clouds of fog. A few times I got a little misty, but I was able to pull through it with a strong spirit.

But thanks to the genius of my husband, he fixed the problem last night while I was out with the girls (I'll post about that later). Surprisingly enough, my hiatus from my little crack machine actually had an effect on me, because it's almost 5:00pm and I'm just now sitting down to see what I've missed out on. Aren't you impressed? I have to admit I'm a bit shocked.

I guess admitting there was a problem was the first step.

Day 3 in the Land of Bliss

2006-01-18T14:41:00.000-06:00

Yes, Sweet Internet, we are now in DAY 3 of pooping in the toilet. Did you hear that?? THREE WHOLE DAYS that we haven't had to visit the land of Someone Else's Poop On My Hands and Under My Nails. Three whole days that I haven't had to deal with a mushy mess in someone else's underwear (other than my own - HA!).

The best part is, Kale is uber excited about his new found fame and attention he is receiving from everyone (we have to call everyone in the phone book every time he poops) that I think this is actually going to last. *HUGE sigh of relief*

My only worry is that he's still going to be expecting trips to the store to get M&M's when he's 12. At this point, I could care less. As long as it means he's doing his business where he's supposed to, he can have all the M&M's his little heart desires.

The Heavens Split Open and The Angels Sang!

2006-01-16T20:43:00.000-06:00

There is a God and He LOOOOOVES me!!!!

Are you ready for some outstanding news?

**Drum Roll**

Kale pooped in the toilet tonight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And they all sang, Hallelujah!!!! Hallelujah!!!!

This has been the longest and hardest potty-training experience. He was getting it down before we moved - in JULY!!! But after that and up until now (that would be July to January, for those of you just joining us) he has straight up REFUSED to poop in the toilet.

I know this is probably the worst thing I could ever do, but I promised him after he finished that if he tells me tomorrow when he has to poop, that I'll take him to the store and buy him a bag of M&M's. HEY! At this point, whatever it takes to get me away from poop under my nails is what I'm putting into practice. So no judging!!

Nothing could ruin my night. (Not even my obnoxious husband standing over my shoulder, breathing down my neck, and farting and giggling in an attempt to annoy me as I type. Yes, Girls. He's taken. Sorry.)

This calls for a celebratory bowl of ice cream swimming in a pool of oozy caramel, topped off with a big mountain of Eazy Whip (an absolute staple in our house. It sits right next to the organic soy nuts and whole wheat tortillas. Who are you calling a hypocrite?)

Wrestle Mania

2006-01-16T17:25:00.000-06:00

Jacob had TWO take-downs the other night! Even better, the kids he took down are REALLY good! I was so glad I was there to see it (I don't usually stay and watch). I guess three nights a week of practice is paying off (That's right - THREE! Yikes!).

He's the one in the green shirt and blue shorts. We pride ourselves in our boys' appearance. Can't you tell?

Men!

2006-01-16T17:17:00.000-06:00

Just a taste of what I deal with. Call me anal, but I like to be able to actually close my beloved boxes of Girl Scout Cookies.

(Click on picture for note)

Some Needed Encouragement

2006-01-10T11:21:00.000-06:00

This morning I spent an hour and a half on the phone with my sweet, sweet friend (you know who you are, and I can't tell you how much I love and appreciate you!). My dear friend is such a treasure and I know I can be ME when I'm with her. I can tell her whatever is on my mind, what's going on with me in my walk with God, what's bugging me about something...anything!

This morning I revealed some things to her that only a few people know about me (literally like two people). She did not judge me, she did not lecture me, she just listened. Then, when I was done talking, she spoke such awesome words of encouragement to me and lifted me up like I have been needing for so long. And then she prayed with me, right there on the phone.

Needless to say, I was an emotional wreck by the time we ended our conversation. But some of the things she said to me I really needed to hear, no matter how much I didn't want to hear it. I needed that kick in the pants; the reassurance that I have so many priceless gifts to offer and I'm not living up to what God has molded me to be. Instead I'm letting the devil paralyze me with fear and shame.

I am so blessed to have friends that will hold me accountable when I need it, that lend a shoulder, that let me be transparent and raw with them without fear of judgement. Friends that will stop me short in my tracks and tell me when I'm out of line, or reaffirm that what I'm going through is something that they themselves have gone through as well.

My friend, you are a rare treasure and I am so honored to have you in my life. You will never know the kind of impact your words made on me today, no matter how simple they may seem to you. Thank you for making me realize that I am a beautiful child of God and reminding me that I did not go through the hell I went through in my life for nothing. I went through it so I could glorify God later in my life and in my ministry.

Oh, I have a story to tell and even my closest friends don't know the half of it. I am picking my bible back up and I'm praying for God to reveal to me how He wants to use ME. The REAL me. The broken, hurt, abused, abandoned, ashamed, flawed ME.

A Gallon of Milk and a Nose Ring, Please.

2006-01-09T23:20:00.000-06:00

I just got back from a late night stop at Wal-Mart**. As I was unpacking my bag, I noticed how random the items were that I had purchased and couldn't help but laugh out loud wondering what the poor guy cashing me out tonight was thinking of me (I noticed he was looking at me strange, but I'm sure there are countless reasons why he was doing this, and it probably had nothing to do with my selections).

1. Gallon of milk (so Jacob can make his own breakfast when he gets up and I can be the lazy mother I strive so hard to be)
2. The newest issue of Lucky Magazine (so I can stay up-to-date on the latest and greatest fashion trends)
3. A package of nose rings (Who knew they carried nose rings!? Now I don't have to go to the scary tattoo parlor for nasal bling. Yeah!)

Beat that for totally weird Wal-Mart purchases.

**What is up with all of the freaky people who shop at Wal-Mart late at night...with their kids!!?? SCAAAARYYYY! (Like I actually have room to talk, but let's just pretend I do.)

Wee Wonderful-icious and Guilt-Free Shopping

2006-01-06T16:56:00.000-06:00

I am so excited about this new site I found I can hardly contain myself. The oddest things bring me sheer pleasure, and cool, funky stuff is one of them.

Feast your eyes on the awesomeness that is Wee Wonderfuls. You'll thank me later.

I'm off to hit the shower to go out with my friend Lil' Kim (not the rap star - she's had that name long before the pasty-yielding diva hit the scene). I have a Sephora gift card burning a hole in my pocket, as well as one from Foley's and one from my haven of all havens, Banana Republic. I've been waiting for these and this to go one sale. There's nothing better than guilt-free shopping!

Happy Friday!!

Bra Revolution

2006-01-04T11:01:00.000-06:00

I have nothing intuitive or witty to say today (well, I'm sure I could come up with something, but I'm too busy to think), so feast your eyes on a funny post from Suburban Bliss as she tells a tale of going to get a bra fitting. I'm afraid to go get fitted because they might laugh and tell me I don't need a bra - "Just go get some band-aids and you'll be good."

Happy Day!

I'm off to the kitchen to make pork roast with mushroom gravy, nutty green beans, and stuffed mashed potatoes. Yummmm! **We're having company tonight, so NO, that is not how I usually cook. In Jake's wildest dreams.

Kale Has Decided To Take Up Photography. Mostly Of Himself.

2006-01-03T22:59:00.000-06:00

(Click on picture for entire set)